I wonder when I’ll stop
looking for approval
under the sand
buried like your heads
I wonder if I’ll ever live my life
in honor of me
instead of
in spite of you
I’ve splashed in these shallow lagoons
and climbed these trees a million times
but I don’t belong here
because a purpose for someone like me
is too colossal to be contained on land
So I sail away from the island you’re all sired to
and I find bliss in the places you’ll never go
I drop my anchor
where the tides are high
and the minds are open
It’s a shame you’ll never experience this beauty
because you’re too afraid of drowning

- Shallow

I mistaken you
as a shelter
of withering petals
you put them up the ground
caressing each and every one
just to lay all of them
on top of your rotting bed

I mistaken you
as a sovereign
of kingdom come
sit on the polished throne
presented with a crown
only to be unveiled
upon your counterfeit

I mistaken you
as genuine devotion
a failure to perceive
your caress and throne
was only as shallow
as your devilish lust
and your outmost pride

She might be beautiful
On the outside

Hair, makeup, false smiles
Perfectly applied

She reflects warmth
Taking credit for stolen heat

She claims to protect
But she welcomes their defeat

A symbol of humanity
Though she possesses none

Propping up evil incarnate
Isn't a job for just anyone

NCL August 2019

Dreams are your hopes
Nightmares are your fears
But both combined can be a tricky situation
You could have a great night sleep
But have one nightmare
That can ruin the entire night
That one nightmare that wakes you up
Cold sweat dripping off your forehead
Your breath is shallow
The nightmare that could make you wake up in tears
You just end up sitting up late
Calming your nerves
You question what the nightmare was about
But you don’t want to know what it means
It’s 4 AM
No one is awake
But YOU
Instead you go back to bed
And hope
Hope you don’t have that nightmare again

I’m starting to feel
Less and less poetic
Like a part of me
Is slowly being drained
But not replaced
Hollow and shallow
I cannot not be a poet
For it has grown to be
A huge important part of me
Assisting in who I am
And what I want to be
But I already feel stranded
Far out in the sea

floating...
white noise...
coldness...
so bright...

numbness...
closed eyes...
speechless...
too much...

white clouds...
vast skies...
bound here...
can't fly...

smiling...
hurting...
frozen...
lying...

moving..
stilln­ess...
turning...
falling...

so weak...
so sick...
so meek...
so wrong...

"be busy"...
"be something"...
I get it...
I'm nothing...

nowhere to go...
running away...
I wish for...
a gentle place...

dreamless...
wretched...
childish...
end this...

"move on"...
"can't die"...
who decided that...

breathing,
drowning;

loving,
killing;

crying,
living;
­
crowded,
lonely;

what's the difference