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Deanna Dellia Sep 2021
I want to wrap you in pearls
and show you the beauty of dark elegance
I read my books fast
and drink my wine faster  
Because sometimes we have to come face to face with death  
just to feel alive  
And I’m always looking for a badder influence than the one I’m already under  
You can try to untie me from your thoughts  
but I know you love the taste of rebellion as much as I do  
Even if you’re just a projection of my torment there’s always a game to play  
I’ll teach you how to turn off the sun  
and throw your life in the fire  
You can breathe in the smoke  
as long as you don’t look in the mirrors
Take a vile of my blood, ******* demons, spoon feed my ego
wipe away my memories, sip the poison that isn’t mine  
Let me hide my pain in the wake of your shadow
Maybe I’m a good girl who wants to be bad
or maybe I’m a bad girl pretending to be good  
I have a heart that only beats  
to the rhythm of your secrets  
and a soul that will haunt you  
like the way I whisper your name  
So let your worries pop faster than these
champagne bubbles  
I’ll help you find God at the bottom of the glass
We can kiss the sky like angels  
and turn our pain into a purpose  
Though the later it gets  
the more my demons will come out to play  
So let’s break these stained glass windows  
and taste each other’s souls  
Quickly, before the sun shines and there’s a price to pay  
Let’s drink the world away and forget the promises our faith broke  
We hail no one here  
So kiss the whiskey off my lips  
We’re all just running from the fear of being alone  

- Dark Elegance
Deanna Dellia Sep 2021
The louder the mind
the quieter the mouth
Wolves that don’t howl
Stars that are afraid to shine
A river that only flows backwards
A moral compass that breaks from its own strength
Because the world is nothing but gray
when seen through the eyes of an empath
When darkness isn’t just behind eyelids
that flutter faster than wings
recalling the time before the storm
when everybody seemed to be worth saving
The sensitivity ties me up
and the compassion holds me hostage
while vulnerability puts a gun to my head
Yet I still refuse to pick up the knife
Because people walk out of my life
but they overstay their welcome in my mind
and I’m left shedding tears that aren’t mine
taking bullets out of a gun I’ve never shot
begging the devil to be something he’s not
It’s a burden
because the most beautiful butterflies
are laced with poison
Delicate and deadly
patiently waiting to drain me of my self-worth
Yet all I see is their pain
No one ever said forgiveness would be fair
And no one ever said being an empath would be easy

- Empath
Deanna Dellia Sep 2021
You only held me
because your hands were empty
then you made feel
as though I were the one
not full enough
You broke me like a promise
I wonder if you've found
pieces of me in her
You'll always have
the pieces you stole from me
The ones that were never yours to keep
Have you glued them together
to create someone better?
After all
I still have the pieces you left behind
the ones I didn’t want to keep
I don’t blame you
It must have been hard to see my pain
through the torture of your own
You had your own reflection blocking your view
You broke me like a promise
But I made sure to put myself together
even on the most fragile days
I won’t let my sharp edges
cut anyone else the way you cut me
I guess I shouldn’t have asked a broken man
to cradle a shattered heart

- pieces
Deanna Dellia Sep 2021
Those whom are easily liked by everyone
will seldom be loved deeply by anyone
Maybe some people the world belongs to
while other people belong to the world
I’ve accepted my fate
The girl who no one understands
The witch who burns in the sun
Fated to lie in the middle of the ocean
singing a siren’s song for eternity
I wonder if anyone will ever hear it
I wonder if it will have been worth it
To create art that no one will admire
to help those who will never care
Should I have tried harder to be normal?
Picking my own petals
and throwing them on the ground just like them
Watching the water endlessly drip
from the blue roses on my ceiling
Forcing my pen to the page
begging myself to leave a legacy
so I can prove myself to me
Needing to believe I can impress myself
as much as I disappoint myself
Expecting anything but misery
to pour out of these poisoned veins
Drowning myself in what I masquerade as nourishment
Pleading to the moon to stay out longer
Maybe feeble minds don’t need vices
but have you ever wanted to go to sleep
and not wake up?
I’ve always had to live life the hard way
Trapped in chaos and rejected by tradition
Art has tainted my soul
And now I see an ocean
where others see a puddle
Where people see nothing
I see everything
And no one can ever seem to see me
It’s lonely
Thinking the way that I do
feeling the way that I feel
My voice gets sore from singing a siren’s song
while I violently break through these walls that imprison me
even though I built them myself
My body lays still as my mind wanders the abyss
Searching for the words
that will give meaning to all the pain I endured
I wonder if it’s a good thing
that my mind is as open as the ocean
and resides below the tides
I can find reason for anything
and meaning behind nothing
Humanity in everyone
and beauty in everything
But is that worth being misunderstood?

- Artist
Deanna Dellia Sep 2021
We don’t come into this world smiling
we come in crying
We feel
We feel every emotion
Yet we are conditioned to believe
happiness is our natural state
and we are defective if we feel anything else
I tried not to feel
the knives of rejection dug too deep into my skin
So I carried my emotions on my back
like baggage that I would never unpack
trying desperately not to let others know
how heavy it was  
But my legs snapped
I couldn’t get off of the ground
and nobody noticed
Because you’re invisible when you’re sad
and feared when you’re angry
and judged when you’re scared
and crucified when you’re ill
But we can’t help it
we feel
though they expect us not to
They expect us to smile when we’re sad
They expect the snow to fall in the summer  
They expect us to breathe while we’re drowning
but we can’t do that
because we feel
So I shake hands with my feelings
and validate their existence
with a pat on the back
because no one else will
It’s okay to cry when you’re sad
It’s okay to shiver when you’re cold
and it’s okay to drown sometimes
You will swim up when you’re ready
It’s okay to feel
We must feel to heal

- We feel
Deanna Dellia Oct 2019
The devil weeps for you
The angels cry with you
The harps plays a melody of your sorrow
Could this be the last verse of your ballad?
The ghosts haunting your hallways
want a place to call home too
They say a little prayer for you
But sometimes
life is just too hard to live
And sometimes
it just hurts too bad to be you
But there is light
There is life
in those skeletons in your closet
Those broken hearts are still beating
It’s not time for your swan song
There is solace in your sadness
with the honesty of your lyrics
There is heaven devoid of religion
Sing and they may just listen
Someone wants to hear your song
Say something
Someone else is singing the same tune  
Listen to it
There is beauty
Look closer

- Keep going
Deanna Dellia Oct 2019
Her glass was half empty
in more ways than one
She lies awake
still haunted by all of the promises broken
all of the to gropes unnoticed
all of the refusals ignored
She wondered if she was asking for it
but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway
She couldn’t stop the sky from falling
They take what they want
while she lives in a storm of melted ice
throwing punches to her own head
trying to beat out the feelings no one will validate
Punishing her body for the sins of her mind
She was hurt by those she trusted
she was burned by the stars she reached for
No one is coming to rescue her from her
So she hides under the bar in the shadows
from evils one couldn’t imagine
With bottles of contempt broken over her head
being burned to a million ashes
sprinkled in the ocean
The flashing lights can’t brighten
the darkness she knows too well
She wondered if she was meant to suffer forever
Trying to punish herself with each sip
Looking for God in the spilled drink on the floor
getting high to be closer to heaven
She would never tell you about the forced submission
the stardust left behind
in place of her innocence
She knows no one would believe her
so she believes in nothing

- Starlet
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