He was just an arrangement of 1s and 0s
which manifested itself into a body
on the other side of the planet

There were a three times
that he was right beside me
despite him not being there at all

First, he sat on the side of my bed
struck by a drunken haze
when he told me he loved me

Second, he came out of my closet
to keep me from crying
when I thought I lost him

And third, appeared right beside me
when I was walking back home
while the sun was wiping my tears.

I touched him on his shoulder
then he whispered
"I don't know who you are
We have never known each other."

How could you know!
I never told you.
But how did my eyes fail,
In telling you what my heart longed to!
How did your heart not tell you,
When it saw my quivering lips!
Why were the outstretched hands of my shadow met with nothingness,
When they used to have the warmth of yours, always!
When did we grow so apart, that my words seem to echo,
in my own mind.
When did we lose each other,
In this journey of finding one another!

And I really wanted
That together
We would grow old
But instead
Seperation
Helps me to know

True love
Is that of one
Who keeps loving
After he's been hurt

And we could have grown old
And died together
But I never would have known

How much I really love you

I never regretted anything more  in my life
than that night you asked me to go on a date
two days before you decided
that your love was meant for someone else.

I don't know who you think I am
But because of you I'll never be the person I thought I once was

Its sad to say that my only inspiration
is anxiety caused by seperation
which is basically admitting
that you are my only inspiration

I blame you for my unhappiness
And you blame me for everything else
I´ve been living with a hole in my chest
and a head ringing with all the warning bells

Once you let go everyone thinks you didn´t try
They call me a monster for breaking up a home
But calling that house a home would have been a lie
I tried to wait until the children were grown

I once knew what it felt like to love you
Or we wouldn't be in this situation now
If those moments are possible to get back to
Would you please show me how

The foundation is wrecked and I´m on bare ground
People I trusted turned their backs on me
On different sides, but I miss having you to hold around
It hurts to be with you and it hurts to be free

I have been carrying this around for so long
You act like I'm someone you've never known
So desperately I´ve told myself I was wrong
But we have been so lonely even when we're not alone

I blame you for my unhappiness
And you blame me for letting go
I told the children this was for the best
Even if right now it's too early to know

Our love was all about
The romantic meaning of
******* ****
and composing moans
from the back of our throats
the fondling of *******
and
whispering each other
that we were in love
under our breaths

I will never understand
how it was merely
play pretend

I love maths
it proves that we were
just another mish mash
of geometric nonsense
refusing to accept
that you were a square
and that I was a circle
and that organic movements
do not match
with corners
and straight lines

I forgot to water you
lied and betrayed you
you shriveled,
shrunk
and wrinkled

Yet you were
the most beautiful flower
who ever crossed my eyes

and your death
left me disassembled