It smells like first love
Says the perfume bottle
Smells like true love
Says the bath bomb

What does first love smell like?
First love smells like rain
The heavy scent of the air
Before a thunderstorm

True love smells like cookies
Baking in the background
And a rich *** of coffee
Brewing from fresh beans

And of cinnamon in hot chocolate
And lavender, like my lotion
And spice, like his deodorant

First love smells lightly of sweat
Because you're nervous
True love smells like tears
Because it's never a dry-eyed affair

It smells like the flowers
Of the wedding bouquet
And the crimson and white
Christmas flower display

First love smells like body spray
Slathered on to hide the sweat
True love smells natural
Bad breath in the morning
And yet fine
Because it's theirs.

First love turns to sweet summers' air
Vanished with August's last week
True love kisses the scents
Both foul and fair
That break upon my cheek.

There are some who walk      calmly through darkness
because they know how      to kindle a light.

Just his mere presence,
Beside me
Brought essence
To my existence...

Just this mere essence,
Residing in me
Is enough to lose sense
Airy still dense.....

Just this mere lost sense,
Inside of me
Crawling with suspense
Its surely his influence.....

When the morning winds press on my cheeks I feel content but not full.
When I decide on something more my self-doubt alongside darkness overtakes my mind in a crippling spiral removing my motivation and adoration infinitely.

Yet whenever I encounter something fresh as well as pure to the eye it grasps my eyes for its beauty, for our standards bring us reputations but a lack of satisfactory.

When I notice the love within the air my heart beats in suffering and knowledge that I myself will not be sharing that moment as my spouse is away from my side yet it comes to my realisation that I give them higher hopes than myself which is what love is, isn't it?

I return to the mindset of an endless pain yet now I must admit to myself, will pain bring me any pleasure or just a lifetime of anguish?

For I stand alone but I stand with a smile, pride ruling over my side but a sin that is not sinful but simply delightful.

I wake up. Quiet. The sheets beside me are cold. The sun shines trough the dewy windows. I look down at my brown knees. The nail polish on my toes is falling off. I close my eyes for a second and open them again. I leave my bed and look myself in the mirror. My eyes are as blue as the ocean, and I’ve got freckles on my nose. My lips are dry, so I wet them with my tongue. I can feel the warmth from the sun on my thighs. It’s silent.
     My mother enters the room.
     “Who?” she asks.
     “I don’t know” I answer. She leaves.
     I look at myself in the mirror again. I look pretty, with my tan skin as a contrast to my blue eyes. An eyelash has fallen off and landed on my cheek, but I don’t remove it. I look away, at the sun. It shines again today. I miss the ocean.