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Christina Cox Dec 2015
“I hate you.”
“**** this ****.”
“**** it all.”
“Go to Hell.”
“Worthless *****.”
“No one cares.”
“******* *****.”
“Just a ****.”
“Stupid girl.”
“Just go die.”
“**** yourself.”
“Help me.”
“Save me.”
Christina Cox Dec 2015
War
The tears?
They come and go.
With thoughts of
self-hatred.
With actions of
self-loathing.
Among the knowledge
that people
love me,
want me,
care for me.
So the tears,
they keep on coming.
Because the fight
of feelings
against myself,
for me,
never stops.
Even when I want it to.
Clindballe Nov 2015
As the deep circles start to feel way too comfortable under my eyes, I think back to a time when the best sleep was after popping pills not knowing wether I would wake up or stay in the dark. Everything is getting uncomfortable when the unexpected is luring around the corner. Sing me to sleep and I won't see another day before it's the night where the dead are living. I wish this could make any sense but happiness makes me anxious and depression makes me feel nothing at all. My skin still itches after healing too many times too fast and too easily. If scars turned black and eyes could swallow I would be a black hole consuming time, effort and happiness.
Written: November 30. - 2015
You see all I am focused on now is destroying that thing in my life that is destroying me

Smash its head in and break its hands
Beat its brain until it can't stand

To burn, to make it break and bleed
To deprive it of food, water, and sleep

Destroy what destroys you

Too bad that thing is me
I can see what's coming
For God sakes I planned it all:

No more purging
No more cutting
No more burning
No more inhaling
No more smoking
No more starving
No more head-banging
Or wall-punching
No more sleepless nights
No more
No more
No more

Yet that is all there is
Is more
And more
And more

More scars
More bruises
More burns
More blood
More tears
More anger
More pain

Pain
Pain
Pain
That's all there is is pain
From sunrise to sunset
From sunset to sunrise
All is not the same
Yet in and of the same

Lost
That's all I am
Is lost

To God
To the world
And to myself
Y Rada Oct 2015
I know when life abandoned me
When dreams and the future slipped away
When the joy and freedom died

I exactly know the time when fear called
When confusion clouded my eyes
When loath lived in my heart

I know when hope and despair united
When tears fell nightly of shame
When love is just another word

The moment when secrets are revealed
The cure of it is nowhere to be found
When I found out of my chronic illness
grace elle Jul 2015
I'm an empty room with no paint on the walls
Filled with broken hopes and empty thoughts
The wood is caving in and people come through to see and touch
As soon as they linger too long they realize the empty room upsets them too much
They hear ventriloquists song, the wood carving words as silent nursery rhymes and shallow one verses lullabies
The windows are broken and the wind waltzes in, it towers under the floorboards and swallows the bad parts in
Schizophrenic slumber parties with sandman and death, fascist following of whoever is next
The vines slither in, deceivingly vile, stealing all the smiles and sorrowful trials of the men in their nightgowns and high heels so tall, everything started to grow so small
The table outside the door has a bottle of the last person to exits drug of choice, it makes it worth the while
Samuel Fox Jun 2015
I found this poem on glass bottles,
sunken like crystalline boats
in the fathoms of my cabinets.

I found this poem at the bottom
of a salt-fringed shot glass.
I have been thirsty ever since

for the words that will raise the dead,
bring back the ones who forgot me,
or drown out memories of my failure.

I can only slur my apologies now.
I can only watch blurry-eyed, raw
in the face, fire burning blistered lips.

I have been drinking saltwater,
dashing my hopes upon the rocks.
My shiny bottles are as empty as I am.

I thought about making a ship-in-a-bottle,
but if I did I’d have to fill all of them
with oars. I would have a fleet.

Instead, I imagine them there. I try
to hide them away from the daylight,
capsize them into the recycling bin.

They haunt me. They float above
the kitchen counters, buoyed trophies
of sadness. I cannot raise their anchors.
LycanTheThrope Jun 2015
Night hands drenched in metal
Rings in the heart of desire
Dragons love more than you
With cold gleaming talons
Burn the coal along my fur
Humble hearts this eve

Singe

Whining sights stared
Claim three fears
Chaos gently cleared the fake
Breaking wrists haunt my strength
Lonely lives tonight

Creak

Hear last howls melt
Longer than my heart falls
Lying skin and deceiving souls
Rake your worst upon my soft side
Nash your steel teeth into my muzzle
Tell me I'm worthless
Pathetic
Useless


Don't you think
I already know what I'm worth?
Pretend that you've written something golden
I have no true value
The unspoken truth between us
You know I love you so
© Copywrite Lycan
LycanTheThrope Jun 2015
My skin feels so cold from the lack of touch

You have no idea what this does to me
You say you love affection
Yet
Every time I touch you
You deny me the right
Tell me no
You slap my hand away

Just because someone is watching
Whether it be a hundred
Or one single soul
You won't let it happen if someone is there

Of course I don't understand.
Unlike you,
I'm proud to tell the world
I'm with *you

You are my prize
And I'm sorry if I want to show everyone you're mine
Only mine

I can't even get a hug without you pulling away from me
Just because someone is walking by
Do you know how this makes me feel?
Do you not want people to know you like me?
Are you embarrassed of me?

You prevent every form of affection when someone is watching
And it hurts
It hurts so much.
A long day of hurt and emotions
Sometimes I just hate myself,
For feeling this way
Get over it.

© Copywrite Lycan
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