I love you
but no i hate you
cuz i am you, your confusing
but maybe we could add some more color?
i don't know maybe some more um yellow?
it seems that it'll be a cause of distraction
from all the blackness you've tried to cover up with
happiness but that happiness is fake all just a form of your
imagination but of course the world is mine right?
why can't i have the one thing i want the most?

"are sad?"
always

"why are you quiet?"
because I want you to notice me

"are you okay?"
NEVER

"yeah, I'm fine :)"

A painful memory is an ache forever,
In this ache my heart had to quiver
A world of peace I dreamt since ever,
I peep in past but stepped back never.

Survived in uncertainty, I chose to live,
Life's not to take, but so much to give.
Don't know, how long I want to survive,
However sin done on me, I must forgive.

In pain of loss I will live in a numbness,
In my ache, I'm dying of sun's darkness,
The burns I see in it, same as cruelness,
Of pity on the disability of my kindness.

Life of the one winged angels in dearth,
Is no less than the lost of souls on earth,
Ache of loss is same for lovers and both
The mother and dead child in her hearth.

The autumn of grieving leaves in silence,
They flutter in air to tell their presence,
But yellowness indicates the senescence,
Fall isn't a perception of death's presence.

I writhe in pain my poems speak now,
To this art I leave my honorable bow,
Let life have only the sorrows to show,
I'll make my hopeful smiles I'll borrow.

Unwell in mind, all shaken brain,
All my life I proved myself sane,
I'll want to die and may I'll maim,
But no more till I live, I'll be same.

I tried self-harm so far in depression,
Tired of a life in infinite suppression.
Bruised skin will leave it's impression,
Bleeding inside and dead in congestion.

My heart is limp and flaccid in pain,
My eyes seen the sorrow start to rain,
A life emerged from the sea of maim
I'm rotting inside but not the life chain.

Don't scrape my fresh wounds like a hellhound,
I'm a fallen angel of broken wings and fainting death,
A stinking rotting odor of blood and flesh on my rotting bones,
I'm a venomous fang, I'll **** you.
I'll tear you up from the chest, crush our ribs
And grotesque your heart under my clenched gnarled fist,
Rinse me in your blood.

I'll drink the sins in wonder of hate,
Under the savagery of my beast soar scream.

I'll burn the wings of fire,
Flicker my joy in the sinful air,
On the plane pale, I'll play the rain in blood,
My throat choked in soot
I'll wander under the fire and wait my thirst to cause drought
Wrench the lands of life,
Gallop all in my hateful eyes
And make a dark world where I'd want to hear writhe,
Screams and cries.

Songs of melancholy overseas should reach,
Elegies must be burned into ember like my innocent heart was once,

Don't leave me on loath,
It's my turn to be an evil destroyer,
An uncontrolled monsterous creature,
On the lead to pave for hell and end peace on slits of sin,
Make me that or I'll end up here
Just as a human or a fallen angel.

It's that insanity caged me in it's fist of innocence,
But I don't want to stay anymore.

Don't scrape on my fresh wounds,
I'll fill you with venom of my hate and pain,
And the aches would be terrible to survive,
Don't make me the fallen angel again!

You've trapped me in your embrace
Closed me off from the world
Told me it's better this way
No one can ever hurt you
If no one is ever around

She is born of earth.
But the other rejects its own nature.

Her body Is a muse.
But the other has no breath of its own
To inspire.

She opens up
To the rays of the morning.
But the rising of the sun
Does not excite the latter.

She dances
With the whispers of the wind.
But stiff and stifled  
The other is not tickled.

But what of the soft perfume
That lends charm
To even the most common daisies?

What little charm the other has
Are fabricated
By the hands of man

This other
In the struggle
For a life not its own
Is perverted into paralysis
And paralyzed in pretense

She is The Lily of The Valley.
But you are a plastic flower.

I have a problem
I hope you're not
Too fed up with me
And my never ending
Sadness and self loathe

But I have a problem
Not with anyone else
Or anything
But with myself

You see mirrors
Aren't my problem
What I see
When I walk pass is

I'm not talking about
The fatness and the
Unattractiveness
I'm talking about what
I really see, everytime
I walk pass a mirror

I have a horrible problem
I hate the person I see
I am disgusted with
The soul I see
I am disappointed with
The ******* human
I see.

I have a ******* problem
I am my own *******
problem
I hate myself way more
Than anyone else can...

-fir.m

The chains binding
Have been broken
I still have the cuffs
I may be walking free
But my hands are still weighed down
Now I’m finding
Me, myself and I

I wish to see clearer
Past imperfection
Yet, chains are heavy
Even after they have been broken

Look in the mirror
I hate my reflection
I feel infected
Self-hate as my infection
Have I lost my direction?

"No, you aren’t the definition of perfection
That doesn’t mean to hate your reflection
Maybe you have lost your direction
You see you have to be lost before you become found
Don’t forget you no longer have a need to be bound
You have been crowned
There is no one just like you
A ruler of yourself you are
When you look at the night sky
Admire the stars
You are a star"