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Marri Dec 2019
Curse you!
I wish I never knew you!
I wish you weren't here!
I hate you.

You hurt me every day,
You embarrass me in every possible way.

You malicious thing.
Pain is the only gift you bring.

Rip it out. Please.
Rid me of this human disease.

I take the knife,
And rip you out.

You'll never beat again,
You hideous heart.

I'll rip you to shreds,
I'll tear you apart.
Ikra Enslin Nov 2019
I found myself
Or so I thought.
The truth is I've found pieces of myself
And I've hidden others deeper.
Somehow becoming more of who I am and less of who I could be.

I.M Enslin
Dusk Nov 2019
Give me pain and do me *****
I want to die before I'm thirty
I like it rough, don't pull your punches
I look my best when I've been gutted
Drown me in the river I made crying
I want to look pretty while I'm dying
Marri Oct 2019
She calls them her battle scars;
Across her thighs and wrists are her beautiful memoirs.

They are cursive curly,
Chicken scratched,
And illegible.
Impossible for the world to read.

They are her greatest secrets--
She wouldn't dare tell a soul.

She cries in the night,
Slowly rocking herself.
Her pillow is damp with memories flooding back.

She screams in agony;
How could she ever forget?

Her battle is still waging,
Her wounds grow each day,
No matter how many silent prayers she prays.

The scars are torn open,
Ripped bleeding, and
Gasping for air.
They never go away

She is a soldier,
Fighting for her life.

And the battle is still waging--
Every single day.
Juanita Oct 2019
The hatred that lives to burn within me
Is ever so intoxicating
That it will soon become a flame
And one a reflection
Of the demons I once but all captured
Yet, now threaten to break free
Only to ignite a sorrowful fire
I fear water cannot tame.
Blake Oct 2019
Lay beside me one last time,
Allow your tears to soak the sheets of our pretense,
Clutch my hand while your teeth pounce on your lips,
Always trying to hold back your gasping cries,
But your face still shrieks and deafens my ears.

Lay beside me one last time,
Staring at each other in devoted distaste,
My lips giving you a soft smile of a guilty goodbye,
Your eyes starting its spasm of unspoken begs,
Always flashing our buried memories in one last attempt.

Just lay beside me one last time,
Just one last time stare at me
So I can mouth the false words
'All will be fine'
Then your eyes will drift to sleep believing,
my one last lie.

Just wake alone one last time,
But for the first time with a full heart,
         And please believe... I'm begging believe...
                       I was just the most unpleasant dream.
R A Pilch Sep 2019
When I thought I was a monster
I was so enraged
I was treated as less than human
I was thrown into a cage
I didn’t know you loved me
I didn’t know what gladness meant
I figured I was just defective
I hated that I was different
When I thought I was a monster

So I acted like a monster
I hated everyone I met
They would never understand me
With that I was content
I didn’t want to be around them
I didn’t want their fairytale
Each time I had tried to grasp it
I continued then to fail
When I thought I was a monster

People saw me as a monster
And the hate turned back on me
Everyone was sick and tired
Of my pride and villainy
They began to band together
Being united by hate
They schemed and worked together
In an attempt to seal my fate
When I thought I was a monster

Someone had to slay the monster
But it wasn’t who you’d think
And it all happened so quickly
You would miss it it if you blinked
Not the mob that band together
It was one who came by stealth
Because when I learned you loved me
I murdered my old self
I was no longer a monster
The story of my depression and self-hate and the way God changed my life and empowered me to slay the beast that haunted me.
Mia Sadoch Sep 2019
My body is a temple
To which I’ve lost the key.
Everyone thinks its outside is wonderful
But I, inside, see how vile it is.

It’s easy to judge beauty
When you’re beholding, and not being.
I feel trapped inside a giant of stone
Unwavering and unbearable.

I want to be vulnerable.
To feel pain, joy, and sorrow.
So why, why?
Why must I remain in this stoic prison?
I've lost sight of what I am. But I know what I am not.
Sabrina Sep 2019
i don't really know why this started
the happy go lucky girl i once was
feared almost nothing
yeah she was glowing
until the darkness came in blowing
blowing out what once was
now who i used to be
is barely inside of me
only the memories of her
remain inside
the pictures will help you remember
i can't love
i can't do anything right
i can't hide
from the demons inside
so all i do is sit
quietly and wait
until they get bored
and dissipate
though it's only temporary
you love me
at least i think
i don't know why you want me
i say i don't like anyone
but why does it make me feel sick to my stomach
thinking of you with anyone else
i've caused you pain
i've caused you tears
while we both suffer through our fears
i don't deserve you
but why can't i afford to lose you?
whatever good was left in me
that year
i fear he took it all with him
now all that's left is anger within
self-hatred and fear for letting anyone in
but i think i do love you
you hate him for what he's done to me
so i'm sorry about the demons inside
that simply won't let me be
i've caused you pain
i've caused you tears
while we both suffer through our fears
i don't deserve you
but i really can't afford to lose you
i can't do anything right
i don't really wanna die
but i want this bad feeling to go away inside
i'm scared of myself at times
but you hate the fear in my eyes
i don't know why
why, do you want to make me alright?
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