I’m not the girl you think you see
It is much darker inside of me
A deep and hollow void with no end
The colors I have is for you to blend

Smile is my sign of happiness
My frown signs my loneliness
But my cries plead my sanity
And laughter indicates my insanity

Surface is not always the truth
Sometimes it’s just lies to soothe
To cover the bitterness of your root
Mask of a fake person to booth

With my hands I tried to heal my mind
Over and over I search in order to find
But your hands will surely heal my heart
To wrap with warmth of your art

To find yourself in the middle of the sea of doubt
Is the hardest thing to do lone
So won’t you be my boat
Be the flesh to wrap my bone

When will I learn?
When will it be my turn?
Will I ever realize,
that my turn might never come?

When will I be happy?
Or, will I at all?
Will that moment ever come?
Or will I miss it, because I blink too much?

When will I love myself?
Will I ever get out
of this endless
circle of self hatred?

I was fighting a beast in the dark
When the light scorched the Earth
It revealed who you were
Familiar eyes that matched mine
Alone I was this whole time

I ask myself so many times,
"Why are you here and what do you stand for?"
To have someone so good and amazing in my life
just seems so wrong but how strong, how strong
You must be to stay here and stay as you are

There's no reason for me to admit the obvious
who am I to deserve such a miracle in the form of you
In the real world, it's never supposed to work out like this, am I dreaming it this?
I mean you told me you love me!
How real could this be? Im suffocating in my disbelief... I'm suffocating in what you've called nothing special, when I've seen nothing short of perfect...

I've been sick with this fever of confliction
Wanting to say the three words, the same three words you've whispered in your sleep, and in my dreams, but what holds me back is my fear

The fear that you won't react the same way I do
When I hear them, not that you'd reject them
but soon that you'll realize I could never amount to the man you believe I could be, no
never do I believe that could be me...

I remember every moment we shared
every time you showed me you cared
I tried my best to be the best I could for you
I'd drop all of my life to prove what I mean

I'll somehow overcome my gears
I never want you to go, I never want you to leave
I want you to stay with me
I want to hold your face in my hands and admit even though I'm nothing
I'll fight to be everything

Just so you can hear me say I love you
You'll tell me you love me
and we'll both believe

I look forward for a day of happiness
I look forward for a day of joy
A day I abandon sadness
A day I feel my heart smiling again

I’m just a girl with potential & dreams
A girl with goals that make her fly in heaven
So why can’t I be a girl with all of that & a little bit of joy

Smile, cry
Laugh, weep
I want to smile or laugh
Give my farewells to tears & ache
So, when can I be a girl with all of that & a little bit of joy?

Again, I sit & meditate
Looking forward for the time that I will be happy & full of joy
A time that I abandon tears & ache
& then with a sigh I say
When can I be a girl with all of that & a little bit of joy?

Speak.

Don't let self-doubt
contaminate your thoughts.

Don't let apprehension
block your airways.

Don't let fear
hold your throat in choke.

Don't let anxiety
sever your tongue.

Don't let anything
stop you from conjuring
words from your depths.

Speak!

And be heard.

No one ever taught you that failure was ok, that’s why you stare at an empty page day after day;
hoping to create something someone will accept.

No one ever told you that you didn’t have to earn his affection,
that’s why you text him back to back,
correcting your “mistakes” from the days before when he didn’t reply; telling yourself you’re too much that’s why he hates you,
but still doing more than he will ever deserve.

No one ever told you that love and art isn’t ever perfect,
that’s why you’ve thrown away your journals and your sketchbooks,
that’s why you block him even though he says he wants you too.
You’ll just never understand any of it and why it just can’t be... what it’s all “supposed” to be

It all starts with a friendship that seems too good to be true,
And you feel like you’ve seen everything through,
You fall for every small thing about them,
And you don’t doubt your soul, for this is what you’ve longed for in this mayhem.
You want them to be your everything, with you being selfless,
You want the bond that you have to be the air when you’re breathless.
That’s the beauty of love, something that is unprecedented,
That’s the harmony of love in the melody called “life”.

You grow into each other and you feel complete,
You want to be together always, so that you’re never obsolete,
You think that this will fall apart, NEVER
But you forget that nothing lasts forever,
You start off great and have a lot of fun,
You fall in love with each other and put your heads in front of a gun,
But that’s the beauty of love, something that is unprecedented,
That's the harmony of love in the melody called “life”.

You let them influence you in many ways,
You try to blend in with their thoughts all the nights and days,
You let them take over your life like no one else ever has,
They lift your spirits and make you happy, but that's short lived, alas
You start to diverge when everything seems to be falling into place,
You fight, you scream even though you love them, but can no longer find solace.
But that’s the beauty of love, something that is unprecedented,
That's the harmony of love in the melody called “life”.

You push them away because of your anger,
And in your memories of them, you let your mind linger.
You start to feel that you’re at fault,
So you start your days with a single malt,
You start doubting yourself once again,
Even though you know you’re the king of this game,
You know you don’t need someone else to complete you,
You can love yourself and that way, feel complete too.
See that’s the beauty of love, something that is unprecedented,
That’s the harmony of love in the melody called “life”.

You need to know that there are people who really care,
Self doubting and blaming yourself isn’t really fair,
You need to know that this is just another rough patch,
You don’t have to worry about a thing 'cause there are people ready to help you start from scratch,
Just know that what doesn’t **** you makes you stronger,
It prepares you for the worst and helps you resist downfalls for longer.
‘cause that’s the beauty of love, something that is unprecedented,
That’s the harmony of love in the melody called “life”.

I know it’s hard, to deal with this on your own,
But you have me, I promise, in this, you’re not alone,
They’ll come around if you’re meant to be together,
And you’ll have a happy ever after, forever.
Just don’t get bogged down by these little things,
Have faith in yourself and make the world see your mighty wings.
I’m telling you that that’s the beauty of love, something that is unprecedented,
That’s the harmony of love in the melody called “life”.