oh honey, it's not the weight of your body that's pulling you down.
it's the weight of the pressures and expectations you carry upon yourself.
once you burn the calories of negative opinions and the need for validation, you'll recognize the strength in your mind and heart that allow you to conquer it all.

you placed all this pain and uneasiness you were feeling into this beautiful and healthy flower.
you plucked each of its petals off one by one to ensure that the person you had dreamt about every night would love you.
you plucked the petals off of one flower, then two flowers, then four, always ending with the phrase "they love me not."
you ruined the lives of those amazing flowers only to find out that they will never love you.
maybe this is what greed does to us.
we lash out all of our sorrow onto other amazing beings because we don't know how to love ourselves.
we ruin the lives of so many others because we don't know how to love ourselves.
but darling, here is your reminder:
you are blossoming
you are blooming
you are beautiful
and most importantly
you are loved.
you don't have to be showcased in a vase and displayed to the world to know that you are beautiful.
the ones growing in between the cracks are doing just as fine.
you may keep wondering if that certain someone loves you.
but the question that I am wondering is,
do you love you?

You've been staying rent-free
in my mind for a while now.
Shuffling through my brain
and moving things around,
like it's your right.
You were always like that, after all.
 
At first it was soothing, to
have you rattling about up there.
Thinking I was grounding myself.
Trying to understand you better.
Telling you what I couldn't down here –
the things people say to themselves. 
 
But, years later, I'm still here,
still dragging myself back – only,
struggling to place the face
that's just skulking about,
still taking.
up.
space.

I am of the past,
the present, and the future;
reminiscent reflections of incomplete potential.
Never satisfied with the present,
I seek a brighter image.
A confident black woman fulfilled.

Sausages and good beer at half past five
With dawn in the window yellowing
White walls and a collage of abstracts
Mismatched chairs at the table

We are only young if you see us
To hear our voices we are older than time
Cynics and lovers and philosophers arrogance
We have already been too much

This is where life happens
Where the loneliness beneath the tinsel lays bare
And brute honesty takes itself walking
Like a great black dog in our shadows

This is where we talk
Put words to what is dormant wordless
Dark brown ale between our teeth
Dark blue night behind our eyes

Amid a crowd
At a 90s bar
Sat dozens of people
Making no sound
All sorts of stories
They withheld from others
All they wanted was a ray of sunshine
Someone to light up the gloom
And in that very 90s bar
That day they saw a flower bloom.
A new waitress walked inside
In her hair a flower
And as everyone stared at that colour in hair
A flame sparked
And she brought life
Even without trying to
She loved and cared for herself
And others loved her too
She raised many lives out of sadness
A medicine to many pains
All the people in the bar now knew
How to discard pain.
It's about loving oneself
And caring first for your own
Bring yourself up
And then with your flame
Others will alight
Accept yourself first
And then you will know your might
In the hubbub of life
Don't forget to love your own being
And everyday when you look in the mirror
At your self smile
You are God's best creation
Love yourself and care for your mind
And when you see flowers blossom wherever you go
There will be a secret behind your smile
Your mind is looked after and so is your soul
By loving your own self you brought about a change
And if all of us do that ,
Then we will see the difference
And in Michael Jackson's words,
"Heal the world
Make it a better place
For YOU and for ME
And the entire human race. "
And to heal the world
Heal yourself first
And to care for each other
Care for yourself first.
And for everlasting love
Love yourself first.

without the burden of expectation,
i flourish the way i’ve always wanted.
i have planted a seed of loving myself
and doing it so ******* fiercely
that it can’t be denied, and it blooms.
regret, fear, and uncertainty have burned
away and their ashes nurture this new soil.
i will tend this garden in myself
and speak crystal clear and loudly proclaim
that i am worth loving and i do it boldly.