i am still learning
the one thing
they never teach:
that grades-
more specifically
that one D
is not indicative
of my character.

I never once felt so trapped
              till i came back to my cage
With a door that never open
               Where the dark never fades
And the fear never ends

They say they understand
that i can leave when i please
that im free


     What kind of lie is that

Do you even see me?

The constant frown that will never
turn upside down
not without my Angel
That cant touch me

How could you understand this
The fear
It suffocates me
***** the air out of my lungs
how much longer till i die here

Im tired of being afraid
Afraid you will ban me from my Angel
From my school
From my life
What i worked so hard to mold into what i want

Im getting so close
And you want to destroy it
Its not finished
Its not pretty now
But soon it will beautiful
smooth
and straight

Soon
         I wont feel the need to stray from path
                               The need to find the love i seek
                                                   To enjoy this short life
                                                                ­              To Feel


Dont worry
Soon
I will be fixed
You wont have to worry about
Me misbehaving
Breaking your rules

Soon my legs will rust to a stop
So i cant run anymore
From your constant desire
to protect me
When you are the one putting me in danger
from what i have to do
to learn

But dont worry
soon enough
I will stop
No more banging again the bars
screaming
im almost done
Dont worry

Plastic smiles are always the worst  
They're just the slightest bit off at first  
They make your creep senses start to tingle and make a sensation  
She said, I give off a creepy sort of vibe  
I said, that's an odd way to start a conversation  
 
 
I just ate popcorn and watched girls play volleyball  
Then got made fun of for being such a creep  
But I told them I was only sitting here all by myself  
That's probably why I'm three times more creepier than the ordinary solo creep  
 
 
Mention your red Ferrari, that'll get the ******* dropping faster  
One can be a creep and still get to enjoy the role of being master  
I told a girl at her 18th birthday party, that I wanted to eat that cake off her ***  
Then I had to tell the entire party, that I had to hurry back to class  
To practice going hands solo coming and going while flashing my special hall pass  
I asked if ya wanna take a ride home with me in my squeaky cruising van?  
Truly a mystery why anyone would call me a little bit creepy, ****  
 
 
But I told them I was not here all by myself  
That's probably why I'm three times more creepier than the ordinary solo creep  
 
 
I tried to start an **** once or twice, on a bus full of giggling cheerleaders  
While on the way back from our schools annual college basketball 'bout  
Tried but failed at having *** with everyone on that bus, only as a game  
Even did a strip tease for everyone and I even tried to make out  
They didn't wanna make out but they liked my strip tease of fame  
 
 
But I told them I was not here by myself  
That's probably why I'm three times more creepier than the ordinary solo creep  
 
 
Now I feel like a junior high football ****  
Waiting for the nod, so I can stop doing it into a sock  
Why get a girlfriend when I can just ******* with ****?  
****, dude. Just call a ****** up already and get that out the way  
We all make fools of ourselves sometimes, ok for me everyday  
 
 
But I told them I was never there by myself  
That's why I'm so much more creepier than any other so, so, crazee mudda fuckka.

On my back, it sits with a grin
Tossing and turning what’s within
It takes my heart and gives a pull
Giving me an endless mouthful
My head is spinning ‘round the room
Burying me in my own tomb
Thy breath more rapid than before
I slowly fall and hit ground floor
Again and again, I see it
I think it’s time for my obit
I stay up late dreaming of you
A brick wall I need to breakthrough
My arms are dragging on the ground
The world itself is your playground
Tears begin to fall down my cheek
These dull-white papers are so bleak
The Chromebook light does strain my eyes
It seems as though I’m hypnotized
Look at me I’m really a mess
Welcome to life, kid, this is stress

on a Saturday morning
casuals to school
on a street
a vendor with a straw basket
selling flowers
two for five
wrapped in a damp cloth
dahlias in merlot and pink
roses in yellow and red
mother bargains
two for three
on silky braids
pink dahlia perched
like a microphone
mother laughs
at the grinning beauty.

I wish I could just sleep like that too,
Feel so dizzy, I just can't move.
This silence makes me want to sleep,
No little noise, not even a beep.
This cold breeze helps me more,
It would be a nice nap, I'm sure!
How could I sleep without getting caught?
Have heard no lessons that teachers have taught.
Are there waking pills? I wonder,
This dizziness doesn't go until there's a thunder.

singing high
getting higher

missing notes
and their boys

flipping hair
and their fingers

pretty girls
always posing

I didn't ask for this
it's all drama here

I wanted to play
but now I'm here

It's all in the looks
on the shallow stage

Now I'm crying
in the backstage