I've got this dream
Where I'm prepping for a presentation
And I'm ready
I am so prepared
I wrote out note cards but I don't need them
I've printed out my visual aides days in advance

But when I go to pin them to the wall
They shrink
I pull the corners out like kneading dough
But they recoil
Over and over

I try to explain myself to the faceless critic
But they've already marked a large "X" on their secretive clip board
My poster shrinks to nothing and I wish I could

I wake in a cold sweat

You never forget the first time you scare a child with your white coat.

You never forget the first time you elicit CVA tenderness unexpectedly.

You never forget the first time you meet someone with ***.

You never forget the first time you have a trauma call for a motor vehicle accident or a gunshot wound.

You never forget the first time you comfort a patient who is crying because they don’t want to be in the hospital.

You never forget the first time you witness a patient and her family hear the words “You have cancer”.

You never forget the first baby you help deliver (you also never forget the mom).

You never forget the first time a patient admits they’ve attempted suicide in the past.

You never forget your first patient.

Being a medical student is a humbling experience.

I hope I never forget that either.

when another day is ****** again
red heavens collapse over your head
cause devil is staring at you
while you're rushing to the subway

doomed to catch it, morning strugglez
you and your people are in distress
good friends died and they keep dying
life was, is and remains a battle field

you awoke because of hunger and curiosity
which kind of dream was that? pushing tons
residing in a snowwhite castle, no stains
yachts across, attitude like klitschkos

reality bites: your inner voice is calling you
take a shower! eat! go to work and prosper!
in truth you work for hard-hearted vultures
wearing suits, spreading lies, for sure

you have to sell tv sets via phone
****** payment, no insurance, usa-flava
but you bust your *** for it, still unable
to buy new sneakers for your daughter

all second hand, so at school she is being mobbed
they steal her dignity, beat her up, she's twelve
eight o'clock in the morning, and she is moaning
swollen rips, hair teared out, a broken jawbone

no school mate is helping her, ambulance and sirens
your daughter faints, as you're rushing to the hospital
and when you see her abused, you decide to take vengeance
the night is red, heavens collapse over your head

devil is no more staring, you and him take action
you buy a weapon, 40 cal, bleeding anger, danger
but you won't turn back, never acting like a coward
in the park, near the river, you can find them ******* sitting

loading the gun, slowly moving, avoid any sound
the rest is history, your story, never feeling sorry

Sleep ran away with the sheep
It Made me wonder how I messed up counting
Now it’s 2 am and I’m struggling with the math
Adding in distractions
As the hours subtract
I wish I was back in class
All I did was sleep then If only I could do that now
Maybe I need to be laying on a note book and pencil
While I listen to some old person *****
that ill need to know this
You know Thinking about it tho ain’t that some ****
School couldn’t even teach me how to sleep
Yet they try to value
the weight of your dreams

In it's six ring circus, wrapped up today at the rnc,
to little fanfare, for its competing conservative alt-
'Convention on Founding Principles', fared better.
As I told everyone in 2015, we'll be lucky if ****
doesn't go Caligula on US, declaring himself god,
for now he's saying "the election results might not
be known for over a year", and "the election is
rigged", while he and his rumpettes do everything
they can to rig it, stopping USPS, Voter ID laws,
decreasing voting days, times, polling places, etc..

Those Ridin' with Biden did far better, culminating
in Kamala's great speech before rnc's sunset eve'.
She decried the Black "vigilantes and extremists",
who did the looting and arson, criminals, for n'er
will crime be emancipation through to liberation,
as organized crime, Ebony and ivory, Black and
white supremacies, project it is, as they divide,
conquer this nation in e'r more perfect harmony.
Only Black Lives Matter can stop that **** of
Utin re-installation top plank in his own platform,

for, the rnc's platform, made up of megalomania
enablement and nothing more, was moot there.
This is just like before the 2016 election, BLM,
expropriating political coverage from Dems,
made them look subservient to the Black lobby.
Also, we're seeing the same from linos, dinos,
sinos, ainos, ginos, who helped illegally install Utin's
**** into the Black House in '16, mass-******,
mayhem, looting in Kenosha, WI, aflame, more
of the same, "electoral politics don't matter",

the name of their narcissistic, nihilistic game,
demanding they get the coverage and $ that Dems
get, instead. Remember, if you didn't vote Hillary,
you voted **** into the Black House, for the bi-
polar axi of global power, not-see repub and
totalitarian, the unpowers that unbe, and all 23
flavors in this baskin 'n robbins of supremacy, also
the global oligarchy, Utin, it's head, and all traitors.
Be most pained by the future that wasn't, or be
ending complacency, apathy, loss, occupy the vote.

You see, before O'bama gave as much to repubs
as he could, and the multi-media conspiracy, civil
wrongs movement, NAACP, etc., helped make the
tea party, to justify Black supremacy and their
genocide of non-repub newborns to men (for the
klueless klucking ****, republican conspiracy
and the rich, thru killing their natural competition),
Ebony, ivory had been working together for half a
century, liquidating ases, assets of masses for $,
power, yet it's humanity's hour, we can stop it, vote.

force, punish, burden,
insistent coercion, and threat,
compulsion, tension.

Stressful stranglehold,
urge, force per unit area,
fuss, influence, duress.

Remember summer,
as fun’s residue fades.
Well, try anyway.

Now we live prudent,
virtually schooled lives - it's
all a million laughs.

Humidity clings,
grasping, like an ex-lovers
unwanted embrace.

Get your bikini,
hit the pool, frolic - drown school
worries in cool play

new announcement:
due Monday at 11:59 PM
unit assignment
requires: more energy than I can muster right now.

each morning repeats;
wake up to notifications and expectations
forcing a mindset that is almost impossible to maintain
every minute that passes
is a minute wasted.

timelines approach,
all that is felt is
indescribable exhaustion
is that assignment really due,
or is this all my imagination?

this all feels like
an overlapping, metaphorical Sisyphus;
every day I push one boulder up a hill,
but there are several others deserving of my attention
and they are never ending.