Six foot four,
Two hundred and sixty pounds.
I see your shaven neck
On strangers bodies
And I’m back there.

Right back where I can’t feel my hands
Alcohol spilled on my dress
Your hands are somewhere
And I am dead.

But, I already was.
You didn’t know that you were into that.
*** with dead souls.
Unfortunately my body was alive.

A causal day, ruined.
Brought back to that night
Just because of some mans
shaven neck.

I can feel the ache still.
Stomach churns
Anxiety chills
I did it again.


Then I remember other nights
Nights that I fought back
Nights that I was passed out
On some mans bathroom floor.

I can hear your laugh
And still feel your hands fight me
And hearing you say “just stop, you want this, you do it with everyone else”.

Skin feels like it’s not connected
to my body.
And breathing gets hard,
But not you.

Because you’re not here.
Not you, not the other men either.
And I’m back to today, in line,
Getting lunch.

And I am alone.
But I am not dead anymore.
Flashback is done
Now to eat a salad.

Until I met you,
It had never occurred to me that love was real.
When I met you,
I understood what lovestruck meant.
When I had to leave you,
I realised why men go crazy for love.

Love;
A strong word.
Often used by those who underestimate its meaning.
An uncompleted word;
One that you do not understand until you have lived it.

Every day,
I go through the same realisation.
I am in love.
They say one’s first love is the most beautiful,
And that can only be true.
But I am heartbroken not to see you;
Torn by this feeling of uncertainty,
Not knowing what you think of me;
Or perhaps, knowing it
And being as insecure as always,
Not seeing it.

I could go on like this for the eons to come,
But have decided to be straightforward.
If Heaven was on earth, it would be in your arms.
If Eros was a man, it would be you.
If perfection had a face, it would be your **** smile.
If kindness had a name, it would be yours.

Madly in love,
Knowing I’m but an annoying kid,
I just want you to know
That I love you more than I ever thought I would love someone.
And I hope I am in no way a burden or a pain,
And I hope you realise how dear you are to me.
I can only tell you how scared I am of ******* up,
Not only causing me to lose you,
But to hurt you.

Today I died on the freeway
by the overpass on the 427

a hot and relentless August rain
made it too dark to be five thirty

I walked home slowly from work
as you do when you're tired

oh yes, I was sad too
but we all are

it's easy to be sad
when it rains in August

when I reached the overpass
in the middle I leaned over

my hair passed my eyes
and droplets fell

down, down

I thought about it
twenty feet into traffic

the guardrail is never as useful
as a sweet and good-hearted hug

so then I thought better of it
and put my headphones in

I died on the freeway
then got up and kept walking.