It doesn't help at all.
I wish it did, but I'm
Just to stupid 2 listen.

Besides if you don't care
whether I'm safe, why
Should I listen when you say so?

If safe to you means alive, then
I could beat myself black and blue
and still be 'safe'

I could tear my ******* skin off
I could roll in flames
And dance through thorns

And still
Be
"Safe."

Everyone knows
from the daily news
the places and times

are wrong sometimes, suddenly
people are no longer alive and we
forget it again, so frail
are our feelings

and thoughts as well
under which we don't want
to suffer and be weighted down

Rather we keep up
that we are safe, twice a day
we see beside the screens

the good of our lives
and against the bad luck
that slips through
we arm ourselves with humor

Everyone knows
about being silent, alone
or together, then it is less bad

****** by 7
Circuitry sizzling now bless
My sight with fractals and
a misread message
A step withheld in my ongoing
Prosecution of the self resting
headless without a leg to
Stand up for myself when
I can't remember what I've
Dreamed this month, it's
Breaking across these mental
Walls, as far as the eye's can
Tell a story, and reveal as well as hide
From one's conjured enemies.
Shiver. These silver sided dice roll
Like the spies sent to hinder my
Will to save you. I will save you.
As I save myself. the last morsel
Of forged laurels.

Holding space
Holding feelings
Stopping time
     For a moment

What does it mean to feel safe
To BE safe
Can safety be given

Or only taken away

I believe it can
I hope it can

Safety is an illusion of control
But a vital illusion
One we all need
               all want
               all deserve

Why is safety so rare
                              illusive
                     ­         easily taken away

If we all need it
why can’t we all give it
To ourselves
To each other
To our past

I don’t know the answers
Only the questions
The yearning
The dream

So for now
I will hold space
          hold feelings
          stop time

In a soap bubble
My sphere of influence
Invisible but all encompassing
Fragile but resilient

For a moment

For you I would build
written May 9th, 2021

If I could build a life
if I was that kind of architect
I'd build days filled with sun
soft colors - soft light - soft surfaces

you would always have shelter
and never be cold
your nightlight
would be the steady stars in the sky

your world would be filled
with food music and books
to help you grow healthy and strong
nourished with delight

I'd be every kind of person
to hold you
to make you laugh
to inspire you with wonders
so you are never alone

I would build this
if I could
for you
___

I whisper to you
you are safe always
just be brave
and whisper back to me
if there is anything you want

I would pull down a star for you
plant a tree in the middle of your room
inhabit it with koalas
make an oasis in the desert
a bridge across the ocean
(I am an engineer - and so - you are also)

Each day I try
to face my fears
for us

I live waiting to hear your voice
to know you feel
safe enough to want.

Cold rain being blown

under my hood, the shelter –


of the mosquito.

Along the road stands an angel
with wild hair and a mouth full
of astonishment, an angel of stone:

mother, you stayed behind
you've seen too much
of the carbon black sky

The ground shook at night, the door
rattled with angry neighbours. 'Go away!'
father cried. 'What do you want?

My daughters? Shall I send them?
They are still virgins.' He called us
but quickly quickly we left the city

that was ****** then
We no longer have friends
Next year we would get married