rest in peace
inside my mind, in my heart
with love and the pieces

you never know what you're
about to learn, or burn

until it reaches the throne
on the stone, the third rock
beyond the shine, where you've
been seated.

here without you,
i too have - all i've ever needed
the secrets, and the pages

and nobody can read it.

and you can bleed it, feed it,
you're my only, the only i have
ever needed.

here without you
i'll try to fill myself with
everything you've left me behind

i'll set myself on fire
and lock myself in, in time,

maketh the man,

and keep it.

---

hello darkness my lone friend
tell the truth of what we've become

i can't see in the dark
and i know you're lost too
without a clue in the blues
breathing in the violet violence

listening to the silence
waiting for us to make a sound

but no one's ever gonna
come around

and the day will go on
just the same, here without you

we'll never be found in our pains
and that's all there is to it


six feet deep into the ground
heart first into the coal

and the charcoal skies still speak
of the rains that drowned out the noise
and they ******* scream about you

they scream in my brain
and they dream in my heart
they find a way to tear me apart
but they find a reason to make me
fear the shards, the sharp and sharks

swimming, and breathing a firestorm
and there are no angels only a
thunderstorm, bleeding what is gone

---
written in the stones
on the snow covered trees
and i swear, i'll miss your voice
for as far as i can see

and i'll make your void
a part of me, as far as i'm free

and i swear, i'll love you today
and i promise i'll love you
now and every day for the rest
of my life, here without you

so, sleep my child
and i'll be there for you
singing to you a new lullaby
every night for the rest of
my life, here without you

and i don't care
if nothing again is ever
about you

and i won't fear even
if ever it starts to pain again

i'll be here, i swear,
here without you.

here without you,
and always be about you.

and i'll be here till i hear,
i will, and i swear, until you
make me find a reason
to remind me,

nothing is, and will be
ever without you

here without you.

4am in a world away
I heard the news
Not best way to start the day
I wished it was just hearsay
I still do
See a big part of me
Was made from you
Talking through my earphones
Coaching me through life
Helping me fight
All the good fights
Singing and dancing
Crying, and now mourning
Countries apart
Yet you connected to me
You still do
Thank you for everything
You will be missed

The ocean is but a sky
in motion and less far-flung
sparkling with light of the
sun, moon, and stars
that hang adrift somewhere
unreachable.

The ocean and I
share the same azure
waves crushing and rolling
in our peculiar depth, and
my eyelids have learnt to absorb
those little specks of light

shining on the times
when darkness immerses
the world in myriad shades
of black.

I still hold the scattered seashells
close to my ears and listen
to the sounds that played
along the end of innocence.

The seashells and I
share the same emptiness,
waves of void twirl in
endless circles inside
ourselves. And my ears
have learnt to cradle the mind
with invisible rhythms.

Humming at times
when echoing silence creeps
and crawls stripping a once
alive world of all the pitter-patter,
chirping, rustle, and branches scratching
against fogged window panes.

I still see in the dark,
my only, lonely sky.

I still remember the world beyond
a hue of gold.

4 AM just laid down heard my phone buzzing
Checked to see who it was
It was someone who I'd never expect
They had called to tell me something had went terribly wrong .
I answered the call to find out that you have just been jumped and shot.
Man I just entered complete shock .
In this moment I can not breathe , just have tears down pouring on my cheeks .
Not able to comprehend and believe what I have just heard .
Can't believe they took you away .
To this day I'm still in that shock can't believe you're now at that heart breaking stop .

you hold on so tightly that I suffocate
when I find the courage to escape
you delineate and debate
why can't enough be enough?
why not be happy with what we had?
we've been through thin and tough
we've experienced life's worst and survived
but sometimes love isn't enough
I've been bursting at the seams, deprived
maybe my happiness is selfish and weak
I could be undeserving of joy again
but I won't know unless I leave and seek
so please, I beg you, let me go
it'll hurt like hell for a while
but I know with time we will both grow

I remember the time,
When you were still here.
I remember the day,
When I had to pass through the fear...

I remember the pain,
I can still feel it sometimes...
My tears fell like rain,
When I heard that you're not fine.

Do you remember that summer?
When we took tons of rides...
I wish I could go back there
And hold you till the end of times.

That was the last year,
The very last time we met.
And as my biggest fear,
I will remember it and regret.

I remember that call...
The deep voice on the phone.
Hours spent staring at the wall,
Repeating the words '' He's gone ''

But those are my memories,
I really hope that they will last.
You're still in my heart,
Not just left in my past.

Can you carve color like you crave attention,
My eyes are starving,
for a golden glimpsing,
Will we wander or will we surrender,
To the darkness,
Blinding our vision.

Will these wild white words
Garner redemption,
I'm just a poor boy,
from the home of the hits and,
Can we feel like we do on the streets of New Orleans,
Watch your glass and half your portion.

What in this white world changes?
Dust bowls now filled, aren't so dangerous,
But let's Forgo the colors and drink from loving cups,
Give your hugs to a stranger.

Its been one day, it still seems unreal, you can't be gone.
Second day without you, please tell me this is just a nightmare
Third day, I told someone about you today, i broke down
Fourth day, I cant get through this
Fifth day, our story was only beginning, why did it end so quickly?
Sixth day, I had a dream about you, it felt too real
One week past, I have run out of tears to cry, I'm just empty
8 days, never mind I’m drowning in my tears tonight
9 days, why do I feel like nobody else cares
10 days, someone asked me how you were doing, I didn’t have the strength to tell them u were gone
11 days, I hate being constantly reminded of you
12 days, I have no purpose in life without you here
13 days, my heart is going to be broken forever
2 weeks past, I thought I heard you, but realised my mind was just playing games
15 days, I saw your favourite food today at the supermarket, I almost bought it, then I remembered
16 days, everyone keeps telling me I should be over you by now, but how
17 days, the house has been too empty and quiet
18 days, I have learnt that faking a smile is easier than being sad and getting fake sympathy
19 days, the memories of you are drowning me
20 days, my anxiety is getting worse and you are not here for me to talk to
21 days, people now think im fine, but they really don’t know me at all
22 days, I want to die. Life without you is just not worth it
23 days, I know you would want me to try to be happy, I’m trying hard, that thought is getting me through this.
24 days, someone mocked you, I completely lost it and shouted at them, they deserved it
25 days, I wanted to talk to you, so I walked up to your usual spot, only to realise you weren’t there
26 days, I sang a song for you today my angel.
27 days, I'm starting to feel that I'm not as alone as I think
28 days later, Its almost been a month how did I make it through, my world is never going to be the same, not without you.
29 days, our song started playing on a long quiet drive, i tried to fight back the tears but one escaped my eye.
One month later, I don't know how to feel anymore, i feel useless and completely empty, and without you by my side i feel so alone, i'm scared of myself. The future, everything. Its crazy how one little thing can change you forever, but you weren't one little thing, you were m everything and I will be forever scarred without you, I hope one day maybe I will see you again.