On the edge of it all
Looking down at everything
The air feels thinner

I'm really on solid ground
But I can feel myself about to fall
Like standing on the side of a skyscraper
my back against a wall

Why can't I just be laying down
looking up at the sky?
A night sky, watching fireflies
Realizing how they ignite the fire
in my eyes

I can feel the pain before it comes
It's such a sad trait
Don't want to be consumed by hate
I just want let it go

Things are a little different
Change is inevitable
But if I'm able to take a breath at a time
Maybe I'll overcome

And now that you're dating someone else
I suddenly understand you:
Things that you did, words that you said,
Even when I withstand you,

I took you for granted, but from the first,
You always respected me.
You bothered almost everyone else,
But you knew when to stop with me.

You've always believed in me
I'm not sure how I deserve it;
Between us, I think now we're closer,
And I will strive to preserve it.

And as for wishing that you were with me,
I think I can leave that behind;
Probably friends is all we will ever be,
And right now, I don't really mind.

Clasp your hands.
Bow your head
and pretend it's your choice,
and not the weight of the sky
crushing you in its need
to kiss the earth.

I pray that I won't hurt you,
even as I know
I ask the impossible.
But that, I suppose, is prayer;
dusty lips and hollow bones
and a fervent need
for dreaming,
hoping against all odds
and asking for changes
when faith says it's all
already written.

(It's the most beautiful paradox.)

Drifting to unconsciousness is the only cure to my sickness these sullen nights. Images overflowing my eyes—taking control of my mood and feelings. Images of the way your lips introduced themselves to mine; gentle at first, but oh so sweetly. And our faces visualized themselves into the nerves behind my eyelids; the system they took to search for each other, melding like the ingredients of two hot medals pressed into one another. I wish I could find some sort of approach to escape reality and relive those moments—even if it is only a few seconds, mere seconds could inspire me for the entirety of my remaining hours.

People say that the ocean or the moon is the most beautiful thing your eyes can see, or even how the seven wonders of the world had gone unchallenged throughout the realm of time as the undisputed champion of allure; but darling, you’re selling something to me that I’ve never experienced. True beauty is watching fireworks explode in broad daylight hidden in the tiny, blue veins of your eyes. Watching your snow covered teeth chatter when you shiver in the cold, a reminder to hold you closer than i ever thought would be possible. The music your mouth makes as you giggle when my lips near yours, how could someone turn away something so vulnerable, so innocent, so pure. Even as I type these words, I have to take pauses. I get lost in the way your hands ran their way across my body, following the blueprints of some grand city—a city I wanted you to create.

The night’s hours ran dry like the drinks previously consumed; twisted drunk love was the only love i wanted to ever experience for the rest of my days. The ocean waves reminded me of your voice, so quiet when they wanted to be and so demanding when they had to be. They would take me out with the pull of the current and I did nothing to stop them—even encouraging the rift. I wish that you saw me the way I saw you, though. A cosmic masterpiece created with the finest stars at disposal; a grand creator had some sort of divine conviction when designing and constructing her ultimate purpose. Time had its way of disrupting our affairs, but the universe commanded the blending of two free souls—aimless in their motives. Aimlessness had found resolution? Only time can tell. How ironic.

Sleep knowing my dreams are of sun sets and watching headlights reflect from window to window with your hand pressed firmly against my lips, love.

And so dawns
An age of pain
And uncertainties
And tears

But never will the great land forget
Those aches that rattle in her core
They are scars that will remain
For the grand sunrise of tomorrow

I left a trail of breadcrumbs for your lips to find
but they were hungry for something I couldn’t create.
I was hiding in a place that wasn’t hard to find
and I just,
I just wanted someone to take the bait.
But when the time came that you caught me there wasn’t champagne, there wasn't bouquets- no.
I looked behind to tag you back but you were already ten steps in the other way.
And to me this was play
but to you it was probably just a game.
We were a picture that couldn’t fit into any frame
or a fire that couldn’t be contained, it was all the same.
Just like the very place you called pleasure became the same room I called pain.

I spent my entire life chasing shooting stars
thinking that I could make all my wishes come true,
stopping my feet here and there just to then try and
catch my breath.
I was always chasing but never very good at pacing.
I got battles with my mind erasing while my heart keeps retracing
and in that time
on the assembly line
they smacked me with a sticker that said, “Replacing”.

You see I was born with fingers that were small and stubby,
stretching out trying to grab the answers I would always come up short on.
My heart’s been known to skip beats but sometimes as it skips,
it gets caught on something and trips
head over heals down a black hole that swallows then spits
me into another time and place where you are stripped;
from sight misplace, but I still chase
because no one ever taught me how to land in space.

And if you took my legs I would crawl through wet concrete,
and if you took my arms I would roll to a mountain peak,
and if my body is taken this heart would still beat
because when you left that home
you forgot to turn off the radio
so all of our songs still play on repeat,
you can hear them through the walls and down my streets
where everyone else still hears it too
but I,
I was the idiot for giving my only set of keys to you.

I’ve spent my entire life trying to close gaps
that I probably had no business closing in the first place.
But even if I’m not the one who wins the race,
or finds the foot this glass slipper longs to embrace,
or catches a shooting star flying in cold space
I know that being here is better than being there,
that living today is better than dying tomorrow,
and even if,
even if these tiny talking hands never get a reply
that it sure beat the hell out of never giving it a try.

Glasses…


Is the glass half-empty, is it half-full
Or perhaps there’s no glass there at all
Every event that I ever faced
Would have still taken place as I recall.
But my part in them, I controlled myself
For our will to think freely gives us choice
We should use our will now in the moment
With wisdom we’ve earned when raising our voice.
Attack the future with vigour and might
Fend off the negative thoughts that we hold
Face up to the days ahead with courage
For fortune favours the brave and the bold.
Many are they who would bring you down low
Free will can help you decide not to go.

©Joe Wilson – Glasses…2016