I don’t see you as my brother.
You cry for her,
you cry for her to be able to move in,
you cry for what she’s going through,
and how bad her mom and stepdad are.
You say she sees my parents more of a parent than her own,
you say she sees how good they treat me..
That’s funny.
She thinks they were always good huh?
She thinks they’re perfect to me?
Hell.
Even you think so, don’t you?
Must be nice to forget.
I bet you don’t remember those summers,
those summers where it was just me and mom,
where we fought everyday,
and I’d end up hurt.
I bet you don’t remember the night before my 14th birthday,
where mom beat me for not waking up from my nap to clean my room.
Where dad came out too and beat me too,
I had bruises and welts all over me.
I couldn’t wear my birthday dress because of them.
I had them for a month after.
Why didn’t you cry for me like you cry for her?
I know you knew.
Why didn’t you do anything?
That's when you stopped being my brother.
That’s when I stopped expecting from you,
that's when I stopped needing you.
That's when I became an only child.

I said convince me you love me, and you say keep this only in the mind
But you forgot that I wanted something concrete, written, and left for all to find

I said convince me you love me, and you say here is a page I filled out
But I thought you would prove more devout

I said convince me you love me, and you say here are the words you requested it’s finished
But you let typos into your letter and fill it

I said convince me you love me, and you say clichés are to be condemned
But cliches are only cliches if you care to say them

I said convince me you love me, and you say words restated depreciate
But words never said leave me with nothing to appreciate

I said convince me you love me, and you say here is an idiom I don’t think you’ll get
But you weren’t supposed to make me upset

I said convince me you love me, and you say thanks
But you should have said I love you, you shouldn't have left any blanks

I said convince me you love me, and you tell me your words have been chosen carefully, casually, and with the intention of being a fleeting moment of the present
But I did not feel that

I said convince me you love me,
But I am unconvinced

A month ago I told myself
not to mold my love
into words you cannot hear anymore
I haven't wrote a new piece
in 33.2 days.
About anything.
I think of myself as a very poor artist
with little much to lose.
do you know what it's like
to be part of a whole?
To have the other part of you
tear and rip away from you
each and every day.
it is not like you fade into thin air.
it's like something was made for me
but then taken away.
do you know I stopped believing
in what one called love for 730.5 days
before my eyes seen yours
How dare you teach me what it means
to love.
Then leave me with it.
This is the worse thing you have ever done.
You have left me with love
other than for myself
and I have no way of expressing it
because it is for you and you aren't here.
***** you, love.

Claim my burden but never

offer your shoulder

to confide, 

to cry,

But you have no tears to spare.

Trying to eat the slice of pie

I spent hours baking,

you spent seconds eating.

Those peaches were freshly picked!

Bathed in bicarb! 

I scrubbed the dirt

until it was nothing but

another piece of myself

for you to ******.

I do not swallow sweetness, 

I choke on copper,

throat bursting to the brim

with pennies-

the same pennies you offer

in penance 

for the burden of lead that

nooses my neck. 

You wear it by choice;

by Gold, 

by Glory,

believing our blood is the same drop split in two.

Though it is proven to be yours for the taking,

you will be tasked with breaking each 

frozen finger, 

forced to pry your prize from

my bruised palms.

Reach out to me
And for me is what you’ll need
I’ll turn you away
For I can not relay

I shall not repeat my sins
My desperate cries held within
Withholding my self dignity
My sanity not in vicinity

I can’t write you a goodbye
But I can close the door to all your lies
To welcome a more sane version of my kind
For I to have more peace of mind

I whisper to nothing but silence
My voice you ripped with violence
Where I’ve learned to piece together what was left
One day this voice you’ll regret

Sulfur yellow a watery burn
Created in an alchemist's urn.
Water feeds fire as both evolve--
The formula of hates resolve.

You waver rights to be treated fair
Like Sampson selling locks of hair
Or selling age to a 95 year old--
Sheep follow only to die in
their fold.

Fiery seas begin as a rift
Water being the only gift.
But nothing, nothing is ever
free
once transmuted into this sea.

But logs do drift and beaches
claim
All that gave this sea its name.