Maybe I'm a bit upset,
Sometimes I wish I could forget,
But my memories are holding me up
By thin threads,

That are breaking,
More and more,
Everytime I walk out the door.

I could be seeing red,
But I'm feeling blue,
Because most things I see just remind me of you.

These mental movies playing in subdued technicolor;
An entrapment that seduces my entire consciousness like a glimmering silverware under the sun.
It has kept me enthralled, convinced me to strip myself out of my worn out realism,
Then lead me through a journey that is neither truth nor a dream.
These constructed storylines which overpower my will to resist,
Leaving me no choice but to surrender upon its bittersweet, artificial melody.
How tempting and dangerously self-depreciating it is to let myself be consumed by an illusion's thorn-filled embrace,
Emphasizing in persistent bold letters the cruel honesty that it projects.

won’t you hold my hand?
and fight the monsters
in the dark
won’t you hold my hand?
and give me strength
while I’m sick
in bed
won’t you say sweet words?
that soothe me to sleep
after my long day
won’t you say sweet words?
that assure everything
and keep my world
together
won’t you make dinner?
something warm
and hearty
won’t you make dinner?
really anything is fine
as long as its
from you
won’t you show me love?
that special kind
only you can
won’t you show me love?
that I’ve always had
for all my life
from you
do I even need to ask?
of course you will
because
I can always rely on you
no matter where I go
after all, you are
my mother

In the beginning you treated my body like a land you pursued
The grass was greener on the other side
And that other side was me
In the beginning you made love to me like I was everything you craved
You had come off a roller coaster ride
And you wanted to ride with me
In the beginning you talked sweet lip bitten words the poet in you conjured
You had me at your every tongue flick
And you flicked your tongue for me
In the beginning we were like newly weds with dreams and highs
You told me to be yours
I still want you to be mine
The beginning seems so long ago...

A quiet life
A country life
Where the grass sways in the breeze
And the hues of green signify the beginning of balmy nights
A far cry from the city
Gone are the endless vibrant lights
Gone are the 2 a.m. trips across town just because they make the best doughnuts
In this place of air almost too clean to breathe
They stroll
A traffic jam is four cars at a stop sign
Battling rules of the road with polite hat tips of "you go first"
Fast feet and hot dog carts
Italian ices on every corner
Fifty-six blocks to a destination
A world of choices
A billion footprints at a time
Stoplight crowds of sneakers and pantyhose
Everyone is invisible and naked at once
The green haired freak and the business man
The limos and the gypsy cabs
The excitement only felt in a world of possibilities
The difference between pick up trucks and bike messengers
A hundred miles for supplies
Or fifty-six blocks of everything under the sun
Soot filled pores and too much traffic
Street sounds to sleep by and a world of opportunities
Crickets and junebugs
The world closes at eight
Nightlife turns into Wal-Mart and Taco Bell
The slow pace of growing grass
The warmth of a winterless Summer
Wishing for a trip across town at 2 a.m. just because they make the best doughnuts

I remember the first time I watched the great Gatsby.
Your legs propped on my own,
Sailing in the land of happy dreams
You slept.
While I watched the most heartbreaking movie of the 2014.

You never realised how much that movie meant.
Never conceived how much  
Words and acts could drive a person

It was at that moment
As I watched Gatsby fall
His dreams shattered and his heart ruined
That I was hit with the reality.
Last nights drunken actions were more
Than just movements or simple words.

To me atleast
It all meant more
Deep down inside
Than you could ever have understood.

And though you hardly ever mentioned
The ongoings of that particular night,
It stayed with me.

And as Mr. Carraway spoke
Those last tantalising words of love,
I promised myself.
One day I shall tell you.
One day I shall have the courage Daisy never did.
To admit once and for all,
To the universe that I love you.

The bitter cold
nips at my neck
but I linger outside
if only to get a whiff of
the smoky smell
of firewood burning
that makes me nostaglic
for winter days.