I spent all week afraid
Of something that would never happen,
And it kept me up all night,
This fear,
And my ridiculous inability to block out thoughts or noises.

And you told me that you love me,
And nothing has really changed because,
Well, why would it?
I was being ridiculous.

And now that I know that,
I can finally
(hopefully)
Sleep.

My goodness! I'm on a roll
Inspiration without the toll
Thank you my friend
You're a godsend
For relief from this relentless black hole

Three steps
One! Two! Three!
I pushed off
Into the air
Shocked to find
A building or two
Falling beneath me
Momentum gaining
The world began to shrink
Clouds began to kiss my cheeks
I was gone,
                      and I never came back!

Sweet relief is akin to
Being engulfed
In the lingering embrace
Of someone you adore.

A four-leaved clover
I found million years ago
When I pursued love
At the end of the world
Lies at the bottom of my drawer
Together with the ashes of a fairytale
I don’t need anymore
I have found peace for my soul
Faith for my mind
And a patch for my heart
Underneath the starry skies
I lie weightless

When I grab scissors from my bedside table,
to draw patterns along the flesh of my thighs,
I try to imagine something beautiful.

I carve daisies and sunflowers into my skin,
like children carve pumpkins at Halloween,
and for a moment my body can bleed out the voices,
until they’re silent.

He likes - liked - to
watch tennis and gymnastics and
always insisted he pay the
check (even when we had to make sure there
was cash in his shirt
pocket for him to offer)
he refused to use a cane
at 95
because he didn't want to look
old he went out to lunch
every
day

until he didn't

You can't find relief...
In reasons non existent;
In predicaments ill-explained.

There's no relief.
In trying to peer over towering walls.
With feet on tiptoes,
and necks sorely craned.

Relief isn't found...
In wishing upon droplets
that explode as they meet the ground.
Everytime it thundered,
and then rained.

Relief is in the trove
when the heart lets go.
To acknowledge the error,
to move on...
And commit fully to the lesson gained.

Sometimes, surrounded by daily struggle
With no time to deep breath the air
Following some made up order
I stop myself and ask:

Am I lost in this madness?

Using all my forces to make things right
Running for something and still feeling
like: " I m waiting all my life!"
I m waiting to stop the imposed chaos
And make the chaos of living life.

Sometimes, surrounded by daily struggle
I feel my chest is ripping apart.
You know, the madness in my head
The trembling of my body,
I m just stuck in it
And it wont let me even scream.

Sometimes,
I wish I could just jump out of me
To release these chains from my heart
All those attachments
All those “ I think I need to do things.“

All those fake smiles and faces.
False concerns and supports
Running in the infinity of illusion
With no true goal and purpose.

So, sometimes,
I just let my madness rip me off
To let me cold, exposed and naked
To let me see my self inside
And make me reborn in a new day
With new strength, for new fights.