i have realized i can't stand being touched.
not after him.
i crave the warmth of another soul,
but i flinch, i shrink, dread settling in.

breaths ragged like the flowers
i once placed in his hair.
a scream claws at my throat,
i can't stand to be here.

release me from his phantom jaws,
let me force life back into my lungs.
his behavior never gave him pause,
i can't stand to see what he has brung.

i need to be held, to be warm.
to be safe and nestled by your form.
so please be patient, and never ask why
i cry when you graze my scars
with nothing but something truly kind.

I’m no longer a kid.
I care what people think of me;
the way I act,
the way I look,
the clothes I wear.

I’m no longer a kid.
Back then, letters were only building blocks used for spelling,
Why do they now mark the corner of my work?
Why do they determine my academic future?

I’m no longer a kid.
My tears are no longer spilled over a grazed knee
For now they pour over anxious thoughts-
Will they ever stop falling?

I'm no longer a kid.
We were told to be bodies full of kindness,
because everyone deserves love.
Why are some people treated differently?

I’m no longer a kid.
The world has opened up it’s true self to me
and now I drown in it.

-thelosstpoetjournals

I sailed along the current of ages,
And pondered like many before.
But never beheld the sky’s bright stages,
Nor heard the rain’s soft pour.

I sailed along the current of ages,
Chasing dreams not meant for me.
Trapped in success’s gilded cages —
A fate I hope you’ll never see.

Rejoice in the beauty all around!
Behold what the world has to show!
Forget the days in sorrow bound,
Let your inner sunlight grow.

Gaze at the sky, so pure, divine,
And smile at its shifting hue.
See how the golden sun will shine,
And let its light sing through you.

Reflect — why feel so dismayed?
Is the world truly dark and dim?
Joy hides in every light and shade —
Just look, and let life brim.

Have you felt your heart being jumpy?
Memories making you flinch and gasped for air.
Like something you have to have but it’ll ruin your whole **** life.
I pleaded and said “ I won't survive when you leave.
So stop convincing and seducing me with an idea that would **** the little Bee.
You see, she made me and breathe life in me.

I owe her a life without pain and uncertainty .
She looked so sad when Becky took the life boat and swam away.
She broke down when LB laughed at the tears in her eyes.
Then she faded when they put Papa in the little box in the ground and sang songs of salvation.

So the little Bee's all I have
And you don't know me cause I buried my past.
The little Bee was always so beautiful but I couldn't see it.
There's so many pieces of her I chopped and burned.
Her many lessons I was forced to learn
So I told her, you should rest with Papa in the land of milk and honey.
That's how I killed the little girl in me.

So don't make me love you and don't promise tender care and comfort.
Giving  a bite of cheese to a mouse, a cup of water to the starved and hopeless.
I can't bet my life on the possibility that you’ll be a good person.
Just leave when it's windy and raining
I’ll blame it on the absence of the sun shining.

I suppose
I shall always be—a wanderer
Walking the halls of my own mind
Always unsure, of what I might find.

The way that we perceive the world
‘s entirely depended upon
The way we wish it to be perceived,
and what glasses we don
Though from time to time,
we do not realise which we wear
Or we might forget at all
that they are even there
And then we think that what we see,
is clear as day and true
Discounting other eyes that view
the world not as we do

I was waiting for your arrival,
& I saw many faces along.
Each time I hoped it's yours,
I waited minutes but it felt
Like hours long,

I waited
and waited until
I looked away.

You suddenly came inside
the gate,
How could you do so fast?
When I just tilted my head,
And as in front of my eyes,
I stared you for so long,
But it ended so fast..

And when
I blinked my eyes
You faded away.

I looked onto everywhere,
But you got mixed,
in all those faces
That I never wanted to see...

I only this moment
Felt , my eyes , betray.

I carved your body
In my skull,
As you were you walking
By my left side,

And I am happy that my
Left eye was okay.

With the pause,
I titled to my left side,
and that was the time ,
When I blinked my eyes

I knew it was the last time.

I putted my head between
My arm's crest,
As the withering drops
Caused the tear to almost
Flow out , but in the end
It oozed out a little..

I was lucky that wind was
Flowing array.