Sweet summer loving....big balloons in the sky...indigo swirls...and you & I....
...feeling high....so take me there...beyond the pain - against the grain...sailing in our minds...trying to be kind...a path that leads back...cut through on the bias...not being pious -we both want to go...away from where we've been...no time for thinking...the sky is shrinking...this love wearing thin...to begin...to love now before it's too late....get past this state...don't let it slip away....this love gone astray...lassoed in...touching skin...closing eyes... a thin disguise..an unexpected and welcomed bolt from the blue...of love in hearts rekindled new.                                                              Cherie Nolan 2016 *All Rights Reserved

You often reflect on your family
That much is true
But when it's all said and done
And the film of your life has cut to black
When heaven's chorus has begun
And you no longer need or lack
When the preacher says "They're in a much better place now"
And your coffin is in the grave
And the dirt is shoveled over

How will your family reflect on you, when death strikes like the king cobra?

It's been almost a year and I don't love you anymore. But I can't help but remember you showing me The Wonder Years and I don't think of you when I listen to them, but I will admit you still come to mind when I listen to Aaron West. It's bittersweet, like grapefruit. Both ended up my coping mechanism.
You left when I had the most faith in you I would ever have and it's not that I'm not over you. I'm not over what you did. I fear putting that much of my faith into someone again would be like handing them a loaded gun with a faulty trigger, as cliche as that is, and praying they don't shoot. I fear it wouldn't matter whether they try to shoot or not. I fear it'll happen when they don't mean for it. I'm afraid to love.
I don't hate you, but by no means do I love you, I just hope you're happy and you don't think about me when you look around that apartment, because I know I helped you move in-- I was there when you brought in your couch, bed, everything on that road. I stopped thinking about you every time I stepped into my room. I hope you did the same.
I hope she's happy, too. The girl you're with now. You did everything you could to hide the fact it was /her/ of all girls you ended up with, but it wasn't in my control that my friends told me. I'm happy you two are together-- you always talked about your connection anyway. I knew it had full potential, I just always hoped it wouldn't.
I've picked up bad habits, but haven't we all? I hope Ezra happens for you, and I hope I didn't ruin the name. I hope she treats you right.
It's been almost a year and I don't love you anymore. I just wish things didn't end the way they did. And I'm sorry.

There once was a day from far away
With eyes wide open, nothing was grey

The colors were new and tasted like love
I was filled with warmth like the bright sky above

Everything I touched turned alive with light
So even in darkness I didn't know of fright

My hair grew wildflowers deep within the roots
And wonder in my mind I would often let loose

But some people find the light to be blinding
They've forgotten how to look for the silver lining
They closed up inside so their light started dying
I couldn't find anyone who was worthy of guiding
And the brighter my light the more we were fighting

I learned how to hide my thoughts to myself
I packed up my innocence on the top shelf

More time passed by with no one to share
All of my dreams because nobody cared

Day by day and the nights filled with silence
Solitude quickly became my alliance
And my mind matched my body with numbing compliance

The colors were tasteless and lacked its flavor
No time for daydreams when you have to be braver

Tired of hiding, never to condescend
I waited and waited for the days to end
A mind that is paralyzed from so much pretend
I never noticed my purity on its quick descend

Now here I sit free from the blind
Finally stepping out from the unconscious mind
But I never imaged what I would find

My hair had no flowers, it was now bleak
A heart filled with light had become very weak
There was no more daydreams and no more mystique

I suddenly was sympathetic to the unkind
The ones that with no light, the ones that were blind
When innocence and curiosity are forced to stay behind
There is no promise they will be unconfined

They scary part is if you aren't careful with time
The years spent fighting will steal your young mind

Only left with reminisce of the you that's erased
Forever missing my innocence that's long been misplaced

I wonder what I am,
A cesspool of corruption,
Slowly overcoming every corner of my mind.
Charismatic on the outside,
Hides the necrotic thoughts on the inside.

Have you ever thought about the way we change?
To be more precise the way we change for someone
It all can vary from person to person
But it all has the same result

We accommodate for one another
With the other not noticing what we have done for each other
Why does all this happen?

We notice until it is all gone
Or we have some one say,
Hey where have you gone?

I sit here thinking about all the changes I have done
From the way I talked
To the way I walked
To the way I saw
To the way I loved

The funny thing is
We start loving someone new
Where we left of loving the old
Seems like we are like insects going through Metamorphosis

Metamorphosis- the process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages

I am slowly *******
Last night I took out my metal
For I could not stand the weight
During years now
Am I washing off smeared make-up from my face
I think it's beginning to show my skin
Sometimes I speak and the echo brings my own voice back to me
It sounds so much calmer than I remembered
My hair has been growing back its color
It tickles on my shoulders

I'm getting there
It's terribly slow and difficult
But I think I'm finding myself

She drives along faded highway, not seeing, thinking,
following twin red guide-lights to 21 days from now,
10 months from now because it's so easy to get lost
in tunnel-vision future when a path reaches out ahead--

--and we can think we know where to go, seeing our dreams,
not thinking with our lives that feel so cold and blank on Sunday
nights when the looming no rest-9-5-help me-bills to pay doom rolls up behind, whispering in a voice born from anxiety...malevolence in her ear...

and yet

She drives along a back-lit highway, seeing, and believing, that the sun
rises on the other side of tomorrow.

Twist and turn
Lessons I've learned are burned
Into this fragile skin
And here I stand

One by one
Visible, done and done
Look deep into myself
Unable to see someone else

Run and fall
From reflections, build walls
Trying so hard to stall
But I always catch up with me

Twist and turn
All of these scars I've earned
All the stories still burn
And they are me and I am them

Reflecting patterns from sun on shade
Reflect on life and the choices we've made
Remember times in youths glade
And as it passed adults it made
As the lights pass from the days
we return to the ground we've laid