I've been raised in a generation...That has lost the meaning of love. At least, the idea of lasting love. This generation has been fed the ideas of constant upgrades. They've been brainwashed to believe that something better is always out there. Change after change, to the next channel. We're a channel surfing generation. Swipe left, swipe right, like after like, up on our social media pages. We don't nurture, we don't grow our souls. We feed our egos based on so called friends' clicks or lack thereof. I've romanticized every relationship I've ever had. Whether they be friendships or significant others, I have always given all of myself. Witnessing others around me, I wonder if they ever do the same. I wonder if they ever truly stop and engage in NOW. Do we ever stop waiting for the next text, tweet, like, or comment? Do we ever fully appreciate who and what is here and now? Sometimes I think we've just lost our focus on what the point is. That's alright though I suppose. We are, after all, a medicated generation. Got a problem? Here's a bottle, here's a pill, just wait til the joint rolls back around. This'll make it all better, or at least numb your reality temporarily. This is not to say I don't fall guilty to the same sins as my peers. My closest friends will tell you I self-medicate frequently when lost. My panic due to being alone and at a loss happens so frequently. My calm and collected side is such a rare occurrence. I over analyze anything and everything so much I feel delusional. Even writing this seems like an empty release. No matter how much I write, I can't get the voices out of my head. I'm stuck thinking of who is or what is next. I begin to not exist in the now. All I seek is to give myself. Yet I get so trapped in that it becomes vague who I even am anymore. This isn't supposed to be some cry for help, this isn't some pity party. I'd really just like to be someone's priority. My own wants all seem so selfish though. Isn't that all of humanity? I really like to think not. I like to think that most of us have the ability to care about others. Though right now, that dream seems so distant. Nothing significant in my life has taught me that people care enough to stay. There's no point to risk one's self for another. Yet, I constantly find myself doing so, in a generation of human beings so dehumanized. Love isn't love. It's money, jobs, taxes, work, frustration, ownership, and responsibility. We wonder why we don't have families anymore? Why our divorce rate is so pathetically and shamefully high? We don't like responsibility! Everything's supposed to be instant and easy. No "thick and thin". No "in sickness and health". CERTAINLY no "til death do us part". Whatever works for me now, and when it doesn't, on to the next. Like a ******* playlist on shuffle of people and places we think we'll experience again somewhere down the line. It's all such *******. I'm over the not-so-distant future. I want to live now. I want to love now... It's all just so **** hard when love is simply a fantasy that exists somewhere outside of so many people's capabilities and capacities. To give your all is the best anyone could and should ever expect. Expect to be shot down, but never hesitate to get back up. Love and passion exist. Find who sparks your fire, and spark theirs... It'll all makes sense then...
Not really a poem, really just a flow of thought from my consciousness I guess. Really just want this out there somewhere other than my notebook.
