Let yes be yes
Let no be no
Anything less
Would be a blow    

Decide on it
No letting go
Just do not quit
Let it be so

Why do you always want
to play hide-and-seek?
Don't you know it's boring
so tiring and a childish game?

I am already tired...

I've quit the killing-
another addiction
my convictions
are open bare.

forgetting what its like,
to deal with stress and the like
without nicotines merciful smile

perfect timing i would say
now that math makes up my days
and work the latter of my nights

i've no form for this urge
that pulls inside
rung out like a sponge
wanting water.

elixir of toxins
heath risks
and iron lungs
chained and yet
so free.

how long can i resist your cough?

"Move" they say
and put martingale on with a neigh
Thai pony in Chiang Mai

A green patch of grass
was what your heart desires
would yourself like a chew of truss?

In the forest with no name
on hard concrete without an aim
swimming with the tuk-tuk wave

"Where am I?"
you ask with side-patched eye
"My knees are soft like a microwaved pie"

But all you ever get
is a whip on the back
from the oddity with some leather strap

"Why are you so hesitant
while all the other stallions are competent
don't you know the creatures in the carriage are very important?"

"How important are the vultures in the world I don't know
but I know that I won't say no
if you borrow a thread of my hair for a violin bow
and play their funeral march with it to and fro"

At this point in my life,
when nothing stays the same more than a while.
At this point when everything 5 months from now is a blur,
the love I have for you is the only thing that stays the same.
I made myself promise something,
you wont be a priority,
but you wont be prohibited,
I can't keep myself from you,
It hurts more not seeing you.
I'll live now to the fullest,
I'll call you when I want, kiss you when I want, hug you all the time.
I wont keep myself from you, cause if there's one thing I'd regret more about losing you next September is losing you right now.

I’m physically crippled by a childlike sense of optimism
towards a wave of “opportunity”. Convinced I’m young.
I quit my job today, and will get my paycheck for one day
of paid training. He looked in my eyes and said,
"You made a promise for ten days, you should commit to it".
I responded, “The speed of things played into my anxieties and
it made it easy to make those promises”, knowing full well
such a “promise” never took place, and years of guilt trips
from my father made it easier to slither out of those arms.
I will spend my single day of labor on Christmas gifts probably.
"Hindsight is 20/20", except the past only makes sense
in bits and pieces at first. I’m eaten alive by anxieties,
but every bit and piece of me is stronger than the whole idea.
The future is happening all at once,
and I’m desensitized to it.
I don’t want a job.
I don’t want to work.
I don’t want to go to college.
I want to do what I love, and the problem
is that I sincerely love doing nothing. Right to work,
right to sing,
right to starve.