If you count the cracks
I will open my mouth for you
The injury
The injury,
falsely gaping
it doesn't fit and you count again
Look at my fingers
Stroke the edges
Feel the curves
How wrong can it be?
You press a hand to what's wrong
You hold my problems
Apples and Oranges
What if neither was real?
The inside is flesh
It yields
It yields
But if I do not ask you to count
my mouth will never have a use
Swallow my tongue for me
You put me in a place, but it isn't mine
Whose body is this?

Crow looked at Vulture
Asked, "Why do you bring death?"
Vulture looked at Crow
Said, "For the reason misfortune is your burden to bear"
Crow looked at Vulture
Asked, "And why must you taste blood?"
Vulture looked at Crow
Said, "For the reason your eyes catch the sunlight"
Crow looked at Vulture
Asked, "And why must we remain this way?"
Vulture looked at Crow
And he looked at Crow
And Crow looked back
And Vulture said, "We have known nothing more"
And Crow looked back
"Then we must learn"
"Then we must learn"

all the pain
is it worth it
endless thoughts
is it worth it
all the hate
is it worth it
always tired
is it worth it
all the tears
is it worth it
this battle
where it seems
like I can’t win
is it worth it?

Leading chance perchance to get
I try to find what's forward set
And all for those who created me
On the road I go and seemed to be
I easily stumble and lose my whit,
And I doubt myself, but I can do it.

Creating a path with leaps and bounds
Now hense I go forth, no turning around
But if I could I would look back
Upon the choices which I am set
I easily stumble and lose my whit,
And I doubt myself, but I can do it.

And if I try I might just take
A moment to think, or stop and break
Break from a path which I pushed forth
Upon those supportive of my chosen course
I easily stumble and lose my whit,
And I doubt myself, but I can do it.

I look back with stupor at how I got away
But I must treck on like any other day
The more I wonder, the more I trip
The further I question my kinship
I easily stumble and lose my whit,
I doubt myself, can I do it?

I grew up between bookends
with the holy word held between
one fell off the shelf with no amends
now the shelf is filled with words unseen

So I read of other options
now I question the thread
of these fairy tale adoptions
which have been so deeply embedded

Christian school, weekly church, prayers before bed
my childhood filled with these epic tales
of a guy who died and then rose from the dead
and if you don't believe, well, see you in hell

They are good stories, some even great
but that's all they really are
to live by them is to live a life castrate
burning bush and a man inside a whale, a little bizarre

I am not mad I grew up this way,
but now I live a life of questioning
of what's beyond the pearly gates
without all of the one sided lecturing

this face is not Your face
these hands are not Your hands
Your hips are not your hips
so why are They here?

disconnected
ear, knee, toe, elbow
are they Yours?

body and mind
unaligned

where actually are You?

where am I?
not here

yet not completely absent
I'm in this body that is mine
but not

but if not
then who, where, what, how?
how am I
If not in this body of mine?