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Orchid T Aspen Dec 2019
If I could save even one person, maybe I would speak.

、、、、

Her flesh wrapped around her like kudzu on a tree, parasitically engaged in what others yearned for.

If you can't rely on blood, who do you have left?

So I stayed. Because no one would come near. How kind she was. How gracious and loving and loved.

、、、、

Her skin became cold. The very ***** dedicated to masking her advanced structure became like a marble slab left in the snow. That flesh that cradled her meaningless meanings hardened like the exoskeletons she imitated.

She was an insect through and through.

、、、、

And even if cold was the absence of heat, the left-behind contraband someone else came to cherish, she emanated the very invasion that enveloped her.

She radiated her icy salvation.

、、、、

And so when the time came that I was able to touch her...
When it was upon my own flesh I would feel what she refused to feel, she grasped onto me.

As if she longed to drag me into her abyss with one last throe, one last labor of love for her blood.

、、、、

My fingers never fell off, but I was frost bitten. My organs never failed, but I was shredded apart by the sting of the sobbing wind.

、、、、

I didn't become her marble carcass like I should have.

、、、、

She didn't take me with her.

I couldn't save her anymore.

Not even if I had devoted my life to doing so. Never again. She left me behind, and I was cold too.

、、、、

My skin is not chilled to the touch. My muscles are not the remnants of a frozen cicada shell. My skeleton is not made of the icicles left to melt in the sun's triumph.

My tendons ache in the wake of an ancient breeze that blew by far too late.

、、、、

I am not a slab of cold marble.

、、、、

I am a starkly darkened visage to behold and not be held, forever turning over and over,
never ceasing and always yearning for that which never was, and that which will never be.

I was only for their sake. Never mine, even if I pretended.

、、、、

This endless daydream that expands before and behind me, that twists in tendrils that are deplorably mine and

soak in the oily water that inisists on being my keeper... I will not let go of the ribcage it offers to my grasping hands.

I will bear who I am. I am my sickness.

、、、、

I will plunge into the needy and engorged expanse of shifting flowers and lodged viscera.

I will continue to encase and cease.

、、、、

Forever in my head.
Forever in my skull. Forever tapping in my cage. Forever clipping my scrawny wings. Forever sincere.

、、、、

I loved her, and I couldn't
save her.

She was dead, and I couldn't save her.

She was alive, and I couldn't save her.

、、、、

What remains?
Irreparable me.
Colm Dec 2019
Why do we stare into the mirror?
Why do we turn away from a cosmic gaze?
Wanting crowns, but afraid of being kings?
But why?
Because we humans do not know the depth of things
Though we like to think we do
https://youtu.be/8z5-Wum2enQ
Sarah Chapa Dec 2019
I grabbed the earth,
The muck and the dirt,
To hold me close,
My heart and mind were hurt,

I grabbed the earth,
I was hoping she would grab me too,
I was free falling into psychosis,
What’s a psychotic mind to do?

I grabbed the earth,
She held me close,
She told me to scream at the top of my lungs,
I screamed so loud the universe found me,

I grabbed the earth,
She held me tight,
Don’t let go she whispered,
Everything was going to be alright.

I grabbed the earth,
Dirt and grit under my nails,
I didn’t let go until it passed,
Psychosis never lasts.

I let go of the earth,
I stood slowly to get my bearings,
The earth had saved me,
The universe and it’s wings.
Sarah Chapa Dec 2019
A knife to the chest I could barely breathe,
You hit me when I was at my weakest,
You knocked me down when I was already on my knees,
I begged you to stop, I even said please,

You slammed my head into the wall,
You didn’t stop til I started to crawl,
Is this what makes you feel like a man?
Leaving a woman unable to stand?

You grabbed me by the shoulders and wouldn’t stop shaking me,
Another argument gone awry,
I gave you a taste of your own medicine,
Then you saw what it’s like to be hit,

I punched you in the face as hard as I could,
You saw stars and nearly blacked out,
I heard my own voice screaming,
“This is what you did to me,”

Pushing and pushing until I snapped,
You ***** me, you hit me, you verbally abused me,
It was about time I fought back,
Like a lion I started to attack,

Then one day I looked in the mirror,
Realizing I too had become an abuser,
You were my poison and much more,
I knew I had to push you out the door.

In the blink of an eye you were gone,
In another relationship immediately,
I knew exactly what you were up to,
When she reached out to me because you ***** her too,

I’ll never have justice for what you did,
What you put me through,
I’ll never know what it’s like to see you behind bars,
Even after all the beatings and scars,

It’s going to be so hard to say this,
But I forgive you for what you did,
I forgive myself for what I’ve done,
I’ve finally learned to put down the gun.
-SC
Robby Nov 2019
Is it sane to question your sanity
Sometimes I wonder what real is

Am I? Are you?
Are my words landing somewhere?
Or did I just imagine it?

How many people did I hallucinate?
Can I trust my thoughts?
Or my memories?

What if this is all a dream?
Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow to something else
What makes real really real?

Maybe reality is just us responding to our own imaginations
GaryFairy Oct 2019
my plan is to understand from here to hereafter
i stand behind the hand of man's only master
tragic is the plan of the last final chapter
who is the one who can, the answer or the asker?

ignoring the facts is the path to man's disaster
i'm trapped on the math of happily ever after
the fastest to act is the one who dies faster
he who laughs last is he who plans the laughter
Jeff Lewis Sep 2019
standing in line
for mail
at the homeless shelter downtown
get a stamp…or
two?
letters
that fill her hand she’s writing
to the FBI
writing to the CIA
the DEA  
perhaps the NSA
wonder
what she wrote?

some days
she tells
of shadow people who plot
and scheme
she hides from
ghosts
and their attacks
they track her
she hides
inside a dream
or more accurately, constant nightmare.

she talks to people in the air
rambled words
furtive glances
she listens  
what are the words that are being said
but then
who cares
no one knows those words
just Crazy Mary.
Crazy Mary is a composite of several homeless people I've gotten to know over the years. Untreated mental health problems are a huge issue that needs to be addressed in order to address general homelessness.
ElEschew Sep 2019
Hello little blueberry
I see you
I never thought I'd meet you
Yet here you are
And
There you go
To someone else's arms
My little blueberry
Mine.
No longer mine
Custody I failed to take
I'll love you from afar
thank god
I know who you are
Ackerrman Sep 2019
Well done,
Just like everyone,
I have my
Uniform,
My clean shirt,
My clean mind.

Getting older now,
Cold,
When lonely-
Stay clean!
Build a future
I never thought I would see.

Step back,
Step forward,
But moved,
Always moved,
Though stagnant-
Not sterile.

Focus!
Don’t drift to decay,
Stay!
In the room,
Now,
No psychosis!
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