No lock on the chains today
There is nothing left for you to say
Besides you can't put me on display
No way that I'll stay
Sound okay?

Pick the color, the style
Tell me to sit, stay a while
Wanting to go the extra mile
Not this time

Couldn't get me last time
Won't get me again
No matter the song or rhyme
The roses and then
The same old ****t
Year after year
Don't call me "dear"

Gifts and a meal
Won't make this dream of yours real
I won't play pretend
Can't this game just end?

Let me do what I please
Let me have a day of ease
Maybe sitting under the shade of trees
Enjoying the delicate breeze
Just let me seize
The day for myself
Instead of sitting quietly on a shelf

- Jay M
January 29th, 2021

Somehow, It's exhausting to live in this world with some kind of a code of how to become a likable person.
Where in you should behave in accordance of what the society dictates you to be like,

so they won't ridicule you,

forced to follow the rules to survive or blend,

pretend to be someone likeable,

make friends,

go to work,

bathe everyday,

follow the trend,

build high defensive walls

and  basically just do what the others do to avoid being labelled as

******,

Crazy,

madmen

insane.

Sometimes, I just want to be crazy..

So I could have an excuse not to follow rules

do whatever I like,

say whatever I want

and just be ME.

warm until I wake
I know I am conscious
with a sudden chill
but my eyes stay closed
and my body is stone
I whisper take me back
and I suppose
I shall pretend
until my pillow
answers

and i think
i'm just so tired
of being sad
but it's something
there's no sense in
hurrying

the process of
yearning, of unlearning

there is so much
emotional labor
that goes into
forgetting

all of the good
the bright, the beautiful
before the terrible
the painful, the ugly

the feeling
you used to get
when you looked
into their eyes

and it hasn't been there
in months, maybe years

but you're chasing the high
because you're afraid
the memory
is all you have left of it

remembering
what it felt like
when you weren't
pretending
everything was
alright