How can you sleep knowing that you can easily hurt someone close to you?
Easy, it's because they don't know you're hurting
You put up all these walls to the point that saying "it's fine" is the verge of tears
You know you're not fine, but you push through it all
Trying to stay focus on one project a day gets harder as days pass
You just wish for someone to ask if you need help with any of your projects
...but no...no one ask, but it's fine
It's fine that you can silently cry and no one will notice your puffy red face
It's fine that you had to suppress emotions to make your friends and family happy
It's fine that your parents haven't seen you have an anxiety attack
Wait, no...change that, to the fact that parents think my anxiety is part of a phase
If it was a phase, I would like it to be over already
A phase is what my parents were thinking when I wanted to dye my hair
A phase is what my friends thought when I realized I liked girls
But hey, it's fine
Generally okay with the fact that I will rarely get support from family
But it's fine because my "family" that I have created thanks to some loyal friends will be there holding signs, screaming my name louder than everyone
It's fine that I can barely speak about myself without getting mixed up emotions
Emotions that have been hiding under my bed with the monsters that stopped existing
The emotions everyone clearly don't want to see with me...so then I put up more walls
Each wall stronger than the last one
Using all kinds of materials for each wall
But its it's okay because I think it's fine.
Recently, I wrote this poem and hoped that it would help me through all my tough times in the start of the new year...in the end all I kept saying was "it's fine."
