empty words in a
pattern that comes to nothing
the zero is sum

What is wrong with me?
One moment everything is fine
Then I'm triggered and gone
As if it's always been this way.
Why can't I feel ok alone?
I know I'm good and enough
But when you're not here
I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Days pass on top of days
I can feel myself burning out
I need time with myself to recharge
But I have an insatiable ache for you.
I'm mad at myself for this
It's not your fault
But it'd be easier if it was
I wish I didn't need anyone else, but I do.
I never asked for this life
Everything is painful and I don't understand
How so many people just keep going
For as long as a lifetime.
Every connection feels life changing
Witnessing your humanity moves my soul
But is it real or just an illusion in my mind?
Do I see you or just a projection of me?
I want to cling and I want to run
I want to text you and to give you space
I want to say **** it all and I want to stay
So many dualities that I can't breathe.
I should be happy because things are fine
Nothing is inherently wrong
But I feel so unsettled and uncomfortable
Like nothing will ever be enough for me.
I just want to be ok
And I don't want to need anyone else
I have to learn to balance these issues
With the curse of my human condition.

****** by 7
Circuitry sizzling now bless
My sight with fractals and
a misread message
A step withheld in my ongoing
Prosecution of the self resting
headless without a leg to
Stand up for myself when
I can't remember what I've
Dreamed this month, it's
Breaking across these mental
Walls, as far as the eye's can
Tell a story, and reveal as well as hide
From one's conjured enemies.
Shiver. These silver sided dice roll
Like the spies sent to hinder my
Will to save you. I will save you.
As I save myself. the last morsel
Of forged laurels.

we wave and smile
we pretend
brave faces worn
until the end

the end is bitter
yet so sweet
no need to lie
no point to cheat

and free at last
relieved, we sigh
our time is up
the end is nigh

I see too much
Tiny details into the fray
It frightens
Not me, but you
And what I view
Beyond your screen
Some hypnotic wall
Your foggy countenance
Deceives the herd
As they follow the piper
Though I lingered
On the periphery
Some visions were concealed
By your obscurity
Unveiling becomes obsession
Then I regret
For now
I see too much

In My Mind’s Eye
The images pass by

I can let them simply fly
If my will I don’t apply

OR

With purpose that I claim
I can imagine with an aim

Create my new designs
And break from life’s confines

For mind’s pattern - freshly made
Is with matter overlaid

Use the eye within your mind
And prosperity you’ll find