Solitude taught me
I am capable to bear things
I thought I wouldn't be able to survive.

Patience taught me
I can be more grateful
for the things I longed for.

Love taught me
I can be loved
I am worth it
and that the only thing
that really matters
is that despite everything
what you feel in your heart,
will last forever.

I had a dream I killed you.
Cold blooded blood on my hands.
Heat swells and expands,
The space I held for patience was small to begin with,
And in my dreams it explodes.
I watch everything explode.
The only thing I feel is relief; love was a myth and I’m tired of the grief.

Soothing wooden
window pane!
Where hope dwelt
upon ridden raw
weight of elbows
dreaming days;

The wait as
dropping rain
the
falling snow
windy days
summer's glow
a fall in grace!


there i knew
your face
across distant
seasons too
as stung beelike
humming buzzing
where i buried
just a memory
of you
of waiting
for you
as always
the long season
of God’s Grace!

:: 12-18-2014 ::
:: Rev 09012018 ::

Out here in the fields of the distance
whither the wind blows the silence further afield;
roughhewn footprints show a windswept pathway  
from whence feral feet lightly trod   

Only the passing whispers chase after the gypsy wind:
that the silence be in quire, placed aloft like a sigh,
pealing through the gentle sway of sweet grass' hush

There are no walls need echo an evanescent wind-song
as each breath of earthen psalm vanishes
lilting into the crystalline quietude colour;

The callused patience still held in these hands
is frayed and tattered, but hope heals stronger
than a ream of paper wings to fly away

And I'm mindful I'm not alone again, lost in
a lingering silent storm — pensively listening —
enraptured aneath all the big skies hold
 

                    Jesse Stillwater

There is a certain
kind of emotion
that's hidden so
deep, away
from the (l)ight
that (o)thers
fail to ha(v)e
the patience
to feel
see
& (e)njoy

I'm so small
smallest
dot
explosion
patience
distance
time
existence
maybe smaller.

Patience is hard.
They say it's worth it.
But does it mean silence?

Silence requires patience.
They say it's better.
But how will they know it's patience?

Am I patiently silent?
Or silently patient?
I do not know.

Nobody knows.
If I had known,
I wouldn't ask.