there is something inside of me that will always burn for you.
it’s like my bones are embers; and every day since you left me, they burn less and it hurts less.
i have scars from the times you got too close,
burns all over my body that remind me that your idea of love is pain.
i still can’t catch my breath from the oxygen that you stole to keep your fire ignited.
you are an oxygen thief, your quick hands and charismatic smile.
i didn’t realize that i had been holding my breath until the day you disappeared and the air surged from my mouth.
it’s been three months, fourteen days, and twenty-one hours since you left.
and i am learning how to keep myself warm. but some nights,
i look desperately for a spark in the pile of ashes that you left at my feet.
because even on some nights, it is hard to stay warm on my own.

Blonde ***** for everything I love you
You feed me one molecule of oxygen
and I linger like a drowning man
You hold me and I cannot breathe
as if crushed by Satan's black thighs
And so I rest in your melted cheese *******
tonight and forever

How horrible it was
to wake up to your cries for help.
I came to find you had fallen,
your oxygen disconnected,
the clear tubes lying in a tangle
on your bedroom floor.

At first, you had been conscious,
your beautiful brown eyes looked up at me pleadingly,
and then you were gone.

I was alone and terrified,
having dealt with this before
I couldn’t say it was anything new,
but this time was different than the script of
past events.

Wishing I could escape like a bird in flight,
I knew I had no power to save you,
The harsh truth of my reality
suffocated me. My walls closing in
as I realized what was happening
in this moment.

Prior to this,
you had always made it to the hospital alright,
arguing with paramedics,
but this time,
you were motionless and cold.

I’ll never forget the blue stillness of your lips,
or the way the light left your eyes
as you departed the material world
and finally found peace in eternal rest.

All this air is getting so thick
With sick, powerful people, taking the open space all away
Concrete on the parks, we use to play
Imprison the mind until those dreams start to fade

We're fighting for oxygen
Suffocating on the stuff they make us breath.
We're fighting for oxygen
Make like the trees but, denied the ability to leave.
We're fighting for oxygen
They sold the air for a lot of corporate greed.

You wouldn't understand all the hands
Shaking ***** plans behind closed doors
You wouldn't understand all the rich
Switching winning sides of a poor man's war.
How can I respect this beautiful land
When it's governed by grease-palmed ******?
How can I respect these political felons
While I'm just fighting for oxygen?

They tell me to take a stand for what's right
In this place I still call free
They tell me to take a stand
"But only if it holds the same view as me"
I'm looking up to stars, light years from this place
Aligned to show a for sale sign on my face
They'd sell the earth I enjoyed living in
And make me fight for this oxygen

Veins
I can feel you, in my veins
Within every breath I take
You're like my oxygen.

I can feel you, in my veins
In between every heartbeat.
You're that blood that pumps up through my veins.

You're that rush, that adrenaline.
You're that matter inside me, that dark matter.
You keep my body working you're in my veins.

check the rooms, lock the door
check it all over, then do it once more
the sun is my comfort, she'd visit in the day
but at dusk she'd always leave me
so in the dark i'd wait.

i didn't sleep till sunrise
when i felt the bright warm rays
and glimpses of dark shadows were at ease
so nights were for thinking
and days were for dreaming
no time to think about responsiblities

my anxious thoughts teased me
pills much less pleased me
but Lexa healed me
of insecurity

my smiles were still silent
amber eyes were vibrant
but still they were glazed with fatigue

silent tears flowed down my cheeks.

i did not speak
unless spoken to
i'd only laugh to go along with you
but the air flowing from my lungs held no tone
it was melancholy & weak
insides clenching my screams
i just wish that somehow you'd have known.