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Really sneaky
Credit card
Got out of control
You spent  money on things
You shouldn't have.
Did You.
Elinor Jul 2018
To the two boys who think I owe them something.
My heart doesn't belong to either of you,
and your spindly fingers clenching it
don't look enough like ribbon
to fool me into thinking that
my love is a gift to you.
To the two of you,
so willing to give me
your monthly allowances of text messages
yet not your loyalty.
For thinking that an "honest" apology
fixes me having to question why
just me was never good enough
for either of you.
You were both greedy,
you always wanted more.
Now run free and fill your stomach with all the flavours that will burn your taste buds and scorch your tongue.
To both of you for being willing enough to open my box with a key that I never gave you,
rifle through my thoughts and feelings,
and not even open your ears to them,
leaving the lid off
and the contents strewn across your floor.
For offering to help me pick them back up again,
but only because my "small, little arms" are not strong enough to carry my own weight that I've carried for
fifteen years on my own.
Here's to both of you for putting me down about being small.
That is NOT my fault.
I have a mighty big cathedral for a heart and a generous brain
and that's all within 5"2.
It doesn't make you any bigger than me
Your few feet advantage doesn't give you
the power above me,
even if you can see the roots of my hair in more detail
than you would ever care to observe
the fault lines of my cracked smile.
Boys are being taught that
to love me
is to fix me,
that I am some kind of messy enigma,
a project, a goal.
I'm just a girl with a family, a girl with a head, with a spiders web of veins and a lifetime of lessons that I'm opening my arms and my heart to.
You mistake yourself for a lesson,
when I'm fully qualified to teach myself.

You diagnose yourselves
as "depressed".
Mental illness is not an accessory,
nor a quirk to make you seem more vulnerable to me.
Don't brandish it in the air,
it is not a weapon against me.
It doesn't make you adorable,
or some kind of cuddly bear boy.
Everything that's
"killing you"
is just as toxic to me.
You set my skin into blue flames
because I won't give myself to you.
I'm tangled in my rejection,
and it thickens.
I can't be with you out of pity.
My guilt, raging deep within my bowels,
marching violently through my organs,
exploding into a supernova of
thinking that love and guilt are almost the same thing.
"I'll do anything",
I don't want anything from you.
"I'll write you a poem because I know how much you love that."
I also love being respected but neither of you ever gave me that.
My craft is not a tool of trickery,
and your words not a trance.
"I'm not like him".
But you still act like my skin is a carpet to your home,
and you walk across it with muddy boots.

You think you're a blanket to keep me warm,
but you ended up suffocating me.
To the boys who think I owe you them something,
go home.
all my poems have been long lately,
but I have a lot to say,
so I'm not sorry.
Don't owe me
At all.
kaylene- mary Aug 2017
my body is not a debt to be paid.
Pauline Morris Jun 2016
There's a fire in my eyes, and my fangs are about to show
You think I'm sweet and timid, not a mean bone in my body
But there are sides of me you just don't know
For within this aged body, lies a monster full of rage
He's only there to protect me from what people do and say
I'm afraid after what you are doing he is rattling his cage
If he breaks free I'm  scared what he might do
He has no heart, so no words can make him fall apart, no deed can break him down
You think I'm weak for my kindness that I have shown to you
Now I'm asking you to pay your part, give me what you owe
Or I'll unlock the cage and fling wide open that **** rusty door
So he can stomp your ***, kick you out of my life, making you happy he finally let you go
Mallory Hutson Apr 2016
2 years old
Daddy's leaving
Mommy says we're better off without him
He can't hurt us anymore
I owe it all to you mom

5 years old
Getting on the bus
Excited to start school
Mom let me wear what I wanted
I made friends just being who I am
I owe it all to you mom

10 years old
Mom made me play softball
I didn't want to
I didn't know it would be my favorite sport
I owe it all to you mom

15 years old
Mom is really sick
Is she dying?
I better be strong, for her
I owe it all to you mom

17 years old
I got accepted to college
It's a private school
Only the best get in
I owe it all to you mom

Everything that I am
And everything that I will be
I know I'll be
a strong, smart, and successful woman and...
I owe it all to you mom
Julia Aubrey Dec 2015
I cannot seem to understand those people who view others as a utensil, a get away, a fancy party.

When you are yourself, that is all you will ever owe them.

Even in grief, debt, and self doubt, all you will ever owe them is for you to be you.

Could you possibly owe them a lovely touch, a tender look,  that's not too much?

Why of course you don't.

You do not owe them a night alone, a sweet word through the phone, all of you feelings known to them, you do not owe them a single thing, and if you feel like you do, there is a black screen over everything in your life.

You owe it to yourself to not worry about them.

Do not worry at all.

You're giving up
I won't let you
I'm relentless in my conversational skills
You won't no matter what
You can keep pushing me away
But i will not give up on you, because you owe it to yourself to achieve better.
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