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Bryle Oct 2020
It comes like a lightning
The thoughts you've buried beneath
Written on the back of your notes
Deep within your heart, it is kept
It lingers, like a strong perfume scent
Only needs a bit to last til midnight
You keep coming back and forth
Going in circles and in circles again
Like a madman running on a loop
The memories, haunting, like a ghost
The traumas, fears, doubts, a wound
You then find yourself, looking too far
Wondering if you can gaze at those
Reasons that put you in a situation
Fell on a standstill, drowned in tides
A scar on the chest, passing as its
Only band aid, deep cuts opening as
Each fragments returning in times
Past, a favorite, a comfort changing
Into a disaster full of calamities
Shattering the very foundation built
On faith, security, and assurance
It always knocks, but there are times
It forces its way in. It's unexpected
Waiting on the bus stop
Working within a deadline
Making a cup of coffee
Just lying around, tired of everything
And in your idle state, no one knows
You are quietly breaking, falling apart
elixir Oct 2020
There is a riot in my head,
So chaotic, full of dread.
Fires burn over broken glass,
Spreading fast, blazing flesh.

They are looting everything,
Abducting unassuming strangers,
Harming innocent bystanders,
They flourish in the chaos they made.

They hate what they have become,
What they have chosen,
What they were given,
What they were left with.

There is a riot in my head,
But I just sit and watch instead.
How they demand more of the same,
How tomorrow will be more insane.

There is a riot in my head,
And here we don't bury the dead.
This is what overthinking feels like to me.
she was afraid
when they looked
at her
what did they see
always wondering
what they were thinking
how do they feel
analyzing every
little thing she said
overthinking
she just cared
so much
she just wanted to be
accepted
prim' Sep 2020
I curse my head,
I curse my body
To make me walk through spiralling hells
From the soft sheets of my bed.
Ashes of my past to choke my lungs,
Dark mud to dirt my mind
To shiver with the wind of my dissatisfaction,
And sweat under the heat of anger.
Pain
Hurt
Regret
Recovery
It's a cycle that doesn't seem to stop

You ache
You cry
You curse
You try

But trying gets tiring
So you rest and overthink
The love, the hate, the laughs, the pain.
There it is again.

Pain
That one word that pops up in your life again and again.

You forget it and be happy, smiling bright as the sun, then in comes the rain.
Ending the fun
Here comes a thought.
The rain turns to hail.
You're still as a statue embracing the pain.

Right then you're lonely.
Right then your numb,
You're body cold and dying
And starts to miss the warmth of the sun.

It's then you accept, to stop shutting out pain, since the more you do so, is the more u seem to gain.

So that leads you here, cold and dead inside, pain is all around you so there's no place to hide.
In which your thoughts suffocate you
Cae Sep 2020
Don’t you get it?
I can’t stop
I can’t stop running it through my mind
Replaying moments every time
I’ve tried once, I’ve tried a thousand times
I can’t just stop

Don’t you think I’ve tried?
Every piece of advice is just adding salt to my wound
Cheer up, snap out of it, relax
Like I’ve never tried giving myself the chance

So understand,
My mind isn’t like yours
No matter how hard I try
The thoughts just seem to multiply

I can’t stop
I can’t snap out of it
All I ask is for you to understand it
Cae Sep 2020
Don't you ever feel stuck?
Stuck in a state of mind, frozen in time
It's tiring, staying in one place for such a long time
Yet, you don't bother to move

It's confusing, honestly
Trying to think about it makes you dizzy
Yet, it's the only place you feel comfortable
Blissfully ignoring the problem
So you stay solemn

The feeling of uneasiness overwhelms you
But it's the only thing that makes you feel okay
Not okay,
But numb

Instead of making up your mind, you choose to stand aside
Too scared to make up your mind
You would rather stay blind to your own emotions
To avoid life's commotion

So you stay frozen
You watch as people pass you by
Because you would rather be numb
You would rather be stuck
Then trust your luck
Owen Aug 2020
These days
I'm a monster
at war with myself,
the light, the dark, or
the grey numbness
of images haunting me.
If only I could sleep
instead of filling in
the terrifying
blank spaces.
Oh how I will welcome
the black void.
peace is gone
r Aug 2020
What is it for?
All this turmoil, the inner battles
I have with myself each day to try to keep floating

What is it for?
And what is the point of floating anyway
If it causes these controls?

What is it for?
Do I even have to be what I am?
What  they  say I am?

What is it for?
All my life's work to be seen as a life wasted


Unsure and confused
About what it's all for.
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