the severity of the broken minds lays out in the street
in the streets covered in outrageous and unfair drama
drama drawn from within
within the information floating about in the heads of the media
off with their heads is the call from the watchers
off with their heads

Brian Hill - 2020 # 112

I am not in contact with my emotions
they're distant to me and far away
it's been centuries since we've met again
ever since the night I let them be torn away

I found out early that love holds you back
so I cut off all association
And now my faux emotions sparkle
without any questioning

Because everyone only sees my smile
And it's not a cry out for help
But instead, all that I sprout it for
Is to display my independent self

So there's no reason for me to have anyone
Because I couldn't hold commitment.
I can watch from afar easily
As I decimate the shipments
Because my heart yearns to travel to my mind
and I painstakingly won't let it
I did this one to myself and now I am secluded

I'M THE SOLITARY PRINCESS
OF THIS INHIBITED ISLAND
TRYING NOT TO MESS
ON THIS FROSTY ICELAND
BUT MY FATE IS SO WORSE
I'M IN A PLACE THAT'S CURSED
MY CHANCES OF SURVIVING IS LOW
AS MY THRONE IS UNDERNEATH SNOW
NOW,
I'M HERE LIKE A WAIF
ALONE AND LOST,WITH FROZEN TEARS
BELIEVING THAT YOU ARE SAFE
FAR AWAY FROM HERE
THE COLD WIND SWIRLING AROUND
ARE PUSHING ME TO THE GROUND
BUT I'M SURE YOU WONT KNOW
THAT EVEN I'LL BE BURIED UNDERNEATH THE SNOW

It’s 9:00 exactly
I’m laying in bed
This haiku didn’t help much

I have finally found it
a single switch to cure all my ailments.
Led by old heartaches whispering new phrases
and ancient fears with different faces.
Wary looks and tired eyes
aching bones and empty rooms
that rend my hopeless heart
and scar it afresh.

"You're not suited for each other"
and "you will fall out of love"
echoes down these dark halls
like an ominous sea
rearing back and baring teeth
before it swallows me whole.
And though I promise to walk away
should it ever be too much to bear,
I know. I know. I know.

I know it in my heart
that I will break with every step that carries me away.

And I am not sure what it is
that I feel anymore
because lost, hopeless, substandard
are the only words I can make out
among the deep ruts in my mind.
Even when I know
that once the words lovely, splendid and beautiful
were written on my skin.

Though I have no way of knowing,
I agonise, I rant and rave.
Could I do it? Would I be brave enough?
To shut down every thing I feel?

I sit in a room with a pen and a pad,
Was called a failure by most,
I needed to show the potential I had.
The same people that turned into ghosts
Were the same who said they were glad
I never gave up, they were cheering me on. Thinking on my past, everyone was gone
No one wanted to see the levels I was thinking.
I'm sorry, I can never give up on dreaming.
If all this life is, is a nine to five,
I don't feel I am even alive.

You can work a soulless job, don't get me wrong,
Everybody needs some cash for food,
But working your life away seems wrong,
That concept isn't new.
They'll tell you life is all about money,
Material greed that keeps you running
Still the heart of your body wants something
Deep down you know the truth.

Your worth is only measured in printed paper
For someone to cut you down with later.
Week after week you get that paycheck
Still questioning if you have their respect,
Still questioning if you have self-respect.
Until the day, they need you, you don't need it.
However today, I sit with this pen
Digging deep for the inspiration
Not to quit.

Sometimes
I wish one of us would die
Just to end this mess
To let my hair grow out
To become someone else
Again

The timing is off

That is what I keep telling myself anyway
Maybe we met at the wrong time, wrong place, wrong life time?
Maybe if it was a few years earlier or a few years later things would work in a different manner

The timing is off
But the feelings are on.