my body is covered in glass
and germs
and slivers
they're overcoming me
and destroying me
i see and feel them everywhere
they will not go away

none of it's real
part of me knows it true
but it cannot stop the pit in my chest

i am covered in glass and germs and slivers
and they're killing me

24 24 24 24 24
Up down up down up down
Dear lord thank you for this day thank you for all you've done please save me and help me have faith in you
Up down up down up down
27 27 27 27 27 27
Up down up down up down
Please keep me safe lord and help me to be saved and have faith in you and please forgive me for my sins
Itch itch itch
Up down up down up down
Itch itch itch
Up down up down up down
Please forgive me for my sins lord I love you please help me to have faith in you and thank you for this day
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
Up
Down
Up down
Up down
Up down up down up down

You must lock the door and check it twice more:
3's for me.

Stop and check the windows too:
2's are for you.

Keep in mind the monsters outside, lest we let them in;
4's are for ******.

Turn the deadbolt until you hear it click, then do it again;
6 for *****.

Before you get in, check under your bed. But before falling asleep don't forget,
The real monsters are inside of your head.

In the thrilling saga that is
My Neurosis
I have finally decided to
Seek help -
Popping prozac,
Coupled with telling a
Kind woman
About my three hour WebMD purge sessions
And
My deep fear of speaking out loud
For about
Fifty minutes a week.

The next chapter will be titled
"Support Groups: Sitting In a Circle With Strangers As We Compare Our Obessive Spirals on Fears of Death, Fears of Living, and Fixations With Folding Laundry."

Repeat.
Just once more,you have to repeat.
Just once more and you can stop.
Repeat.
One more tic and it'll be gone.
Just one more and it'll be all.
Repeat.
You don't have to listen to anything but this.
Don't you follow any order but your own.
Repeat.
The sun doesn't matter
Nor does the rain.
All you have to do is repeat.
Repeat.
you don't need to sleep.
All that matters is that you repeat.
Repeat.
For you promise that this will be the last.
For you convince yourself that this will be the last.
Repeat.
For you never keep your promises well.
For you know you'll do it again.
Repeat.
All you have to do is repeat.
All you will do is repeat.
For son, you are a prisoner of your own body.
So,repeat.
Just repeat.

If there's a word that you're holding back, say it.
If there's advice in your brain, let it out.
And if anything helps, then I'll take it;
But no man can assuage all my doubt.

I doubt that I'll ever quite make it:
I doubt that my dreams will come true.
I doubt night and day, but I fake it
In case they start doubting me too.

I don't think I can catch my breath now,
I doubt that this air will be clean;
Don't know if I'm close to my death now,
But alive? I just feel in between.

Come and steal away all of my guilt now
Make me sigh and admit I was wrong
For of all of the things my mind's built now
I distrusted self-doubt all along.

Wash your hands before leaving.
Every afternoon the television would have a woman in tears
Spanish dialogue, pastel colored sets
Tongue in cheek, modern romance sipping iced tea by the pool
The antagonist wearing a suit and three rings on each finger
Pause.
Soap bars are made of fat, the grease found in
Breakfast diners and sweat off a teenagers face
The lipids turning gelatinous and all I can think of is
Jell-o; the strange colored dessert that doesn’t taste like anything real
My hands begin to itch and I stand up
Wash your hands before leaving.
My hands have become open desert, dry animosity
The skin around the knuckles is delicate, one clench of a fist
I am sure that it will tear, like the skirt of a girl I once knew
But there are creatures lurking everywhere
In the handle of the bathroom door, in the shake of another hand
In the touch of a frame, in the grip of a key
Wash your hands before leaving.
The scattered murmurs on the screen remind me its 5p.m
The women are arguing with their manicured hands
Their eyes all having the same spidery lashes, spiders
I feel insects crawling under my bones
Termites clipping at my heels as I sit in this couch of horrors
I didn’t know the last time it had been washed
It smelled of the 1970’s and I want to go home
The babysitter is on the other chair reclined
Snoring, letting out bacteria through her mouth
At 8 years old I should be on the floor with a coloring book
My lips are dry, the screen is too bright, I can feel the filth everywhere I turn
So I stay
I hear the door knock and it’s my mother picking me up after work
My lungs sigh of relief
Time to go
But first
let me wash my hands before I leave