3am. 2 hours till dawn. 3 hours after midnight.
They sleep. I'm awake. I'm awake and I'm fighting. I'm fighting with myself.

3 am. 2 hours. 3 hours.
Please stop. I beg you please. Please just stop. I'm too tired. I'm too tired of this.

3 am. 2 hours. 3 hours.
Numbers are beautiful. So are words. They flood my brain, they fly around it flapping their black wings.

3am. 2 hours. 3 hours.
Three. Two. Three.
Three. Two. Three.
Three.
Three.
Two.
Please stop three.

3 am. 2. 3 hours.

"Youre making too much noise, we cant sleep". You cant just sleep. I can't breathe. Can't  you see that I can't breathe?


Three. Three. Two.
Three. Two . Three.


3am. 2 hours till dawn. 3 hours after midnight.
It's too loud please stop. I don't want to do this anymore, please stop.


3 am. 2 hours.  3 hours.
I look at the razors, I stare at the door. I remember the days when my mind was still silent.


Three. Two. Three.
I'm reading. I'm remembering. I'm reading. I'm remembering. Will I remember?  Will I be remembered?

3am. Two hours. Three hours.
Bells start ringing in my head. My heart is racing,my body shaking. Three two three.


3am. Two. Three hours.
I cant smile. I can't cry. Because when I do, you'd just think I'm trying to justify. I'm not trying to justify. I just want you to know that I'm not trying to justify. Justify. Justify. Justify.


5 am. Dawn. 5 hours after midnight.
Another day. More suffering. More words. More numbers. More hours.

Three. Five. Two. Five. Zero. Zero.
Lord help me, zero.