I see you lurking in the shadow
I see you trying to fade into the quiet
I see you trying to hide under timidity
I see you blending into the sea of the unknown

Who are you quiet one?

What makes you smile, allowing the light to shine from your eyes?
What makes you laugh, lifting the weight from your soul?
What do you carry in your hear that makes it so heavy?
What are the thoughts that keep you sleepless at night?

Who are you that stands in the shadows?

A colorless, eye-shaped smoke in the sky is my eyes,
That, instead of seeing, creates new skies,
New ground, and on it a new population.


None can be sure about my subjective realisation,
But what I see is more like a simplification
Of a horribly bad-mad world.


I myself am not sure how the colours are whirled;
The colours of dream- and under-world
As clothes in a washing machine.


Myself is supposed to whirl inside that machine,
Among the instinctive desires and unclean,
Inherited demands.


While my true existence that no one understands
Is beyond those dark-coloured commands,
Just dwelling for observation.

It is confirmed
You have a highly aggressive form of ***


© 2019 MJL

Waiting in despair a chill to the air
Inching closer and closer to peak right thorough
Noticing everything I see, everything about you
Doubt is the only thing which holds me back
Overthinking each play before I react
Waiting patiently for what I do not know, therefore forever I remain right by the window

I've been walking all alone in a sideshow
There has been passion and pain on this ride
There is a voice I hear calling
The voice rises from my souls very inside

For a time I didn't know what was calling
With my head as if lost at sea
But today I knew what was calling
It was all of my choices taunting me

I think of the people here in the sideshow
Like me they wonder around so confused
Every day they make their choices
But which ones do they choose?

We all go through life with choices
All as a blind man feeling his way
Always hoping for good choices
Ones that encourage the passion to stay

Passion can thrive on our choices
It can make our most memorable day
But a badly considered choice
Can chase forever our passion away

My trip has been filled with choices
Some rough and some divine
I have dealt with my choices
I have dealt with many that weren't mine

I am here near the end of the sideshow
I look back to where I have been
My eyes are filled with loneliness
I have lost most of the passion I've seen

When you get near the end of your sideshow
I hope you have learned from my way
I hope you make choices
That allows all your passions to stay

At times
I think of myself
as an onlooker, an observer.
At times, I live my life
by witnessing it.

At such times
when I step aside from the midst
my anxiety ceases to exist.