Waiting to go nowhere, standing by the door,
Thoughts are swirling all around the ceiling to the floor,
People stare with eyes that judge, but they do not know,
The darkness and the light each which grow in me slow,
Yes together but apart it’s sometimes hard to tell,
One day whispers softly yet another it might yell,
A child screams, it stirs me up,
I want to scream right back “shut up!”
Like magma rising from the deep,
Fast at first but then it creeps,
The lava burning the present that be,
The fire blinding my eyes to see,
Although I can sense it it’s harder to stop,
The bubble gets bigger and weakens to pop,
Then I’m left standing there cold and alone,
Wanting nothing more but to fold and go home,
The fire it transforms to ice in my chest,
Smoldering visions of me at my best,
Shedding a tear for the darkness within,
Quieting back down just to rise again,
The breath takes back over, leading the way,
Presence in consciousness now here to stay,
Yet nothing is permanent, the good and the bad,
Fleeting like every emotion we’ve had,
Here in the moment but then gone the next,
Leaving my soul feeling perplexed,
Wondering how but not asking why,
Choosing to crawl when I could just fly,
The light brings wings but the darkness adds weight,
Trying to escape my preconceived fate,
Feeling too tired to chew and then swallow,
Feeling the hole in my soul grow hollow,
Sometimes a vacuum is how it appears,
Filled with the worst of the worst of my fears,
Darker than skies on nights of new moons,
Like a storm out on the horizon looms,
Lightning and thunder and buckets of rain,
The sky opens up and cries out my pain,
No one to hear and no one to see,
My soul screams out just wanting to flee,
Thoughts still swirling from ceiling to floor,
Waiting to go nowhere, standing by the door…
