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violet Jan 2020
am i too loud
perhaps too annoying
or maybe im just too ugly to fit societal standards

i always feel like i'm not good enough,
somehow less than others
no matter what i do
what i say
ill never be enough will i?
Pain

My heart felt it…

My heart pounded…

The sweats of a nightmare…

Splitting inside of my head.

A soul, that was trapped, it was now grounded.

Tears show.

They sign a message.

From her…to myself

A heart calls for her spirit.

Beyond life , itself..
Ayn Dec 2019
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If you had the time and took the pain to translate binary to text (its using ascii conversion) don't take any offense in the contents. I translated this by hand... it took a while.
c Dec 2019
I like the word “yet”
Because it opens the door
To possibility

You don’t love me
Yet
But that doesn’t mean
You never will
I’ve had writers block for months and haven’t written while I worked on myself. I’ve gotten into a healthier mindset, and I can’t wait to share it with all of you.
Grey Dec 2019
I never meant for it to go this far
That's what I said.
I never thought that I would fall
That's what I claimed.
And yet…
lost Dec 2019
I carried a book.
My book was all of the things.  
I carried you with me dad.
In a book.
He was the biggest section of  the book.
When I get sad I pulled you out and began to reminisce.  
But I also carried what you did to me.
I carried the hair pulling
The name calling, slapping and punching.
As I lay awake at night, I seemed to have carried the nights with you.
The ones where I was locked in the basement
The ones where I got one piece of bread for the week
But I also carried the good times.
I carried the times where we went to the city and watched the stars.
The beautiful names you called me.
But when it got to be too much,
I packed him into the book, closed the cover, then packed the book.
I carried you with me dad
In a book.
I carried my sister.
Whitney I carried you
In a book.
This section jumped around.
It always started with
I loved you
Then I hated you.
But I always found a way to
Love you
Again.
As I laid awake at night
I thought about all the times you could have saved me
But you layed in bed with him
And disregarded
Everything that was happening to me
You disregarded me
You disregarded everything about me
But I always found a way to
Love you
Again.
But when it got to be too much,
I packed her into the book, closed the cover, then packed the book.
I carried you with me Whitney
In a book.
I carried a child.
I carried my child.
Even though she came to me
Out of hate.
I always did love
Her section.
She came to me in the darkest
Of times.
I was thankful that I got to hold you.
Even if it was just for a breathe.
If I could have named her it would have been
Rebbeca Lynne
I have and always did love her.
My sweet child.
But when it got to be too much,
I packed her into the book, closed the cover, then packed the book.
I carried you with me child.
In a book.
I carried an angel.
I carried my angel.
He came to me at the best times.
But he told me something
That I never wanted to hear.
I was told that in 24 days
I was to join him
In a world of peace
Of happiness
And of joy.
But in 23 days
I learned so much about myself
I learned how to escape.
But on the last day
I did not want to leave.
This place sounded so sweet
But I wanted to stay and learn.
So I ran.
I ran as far as I could from him.
At the end of the 24th day.
He still managed a way to find me.
But when it got to be too much,
I packed him into the book, closed the cover, then packed the book.
I carried you my angel.
In a book.
I carried the place.
This place was not like any other place.
Before I entered this place
I was told I would not carry anything from the past.
I was told this would be a place of peace
Of Happiness
And of Joy
But this place was not.
This place was a room.
With no lights.
With no sound.
Just a room.
I could not see 2 inches in front of me.
This place had no peace
No happiness
And no joy.
It was just a room.
But when it got to be too much,
I packed it into the book, closed the cover, then packed the book.
I carried the place.
I carried this book with me.
No matter where I went.
I carried it with me until the day I died.
This book can not be opened.
It can not be read.
But one day this book will find you.
And once you find it
You will join me in the basement
You will join me in the city.
You will join me in the love
And in the hate.
You join me on the run.
You will join me in a breathe.
You will join me in the place.
But you will never read this book.
But when it gets to be too much,
You can try to close the cover, then pack the book.
But you will never carry this book
The book I carried.
This was written for a English class. And I just found this page again.
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