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It’s a sunny day on the lake
No weather lifts my mood
I’ve become socially anxious
But they just think I’m rude

It’s like life’s the arcade
And I’m completely out of tokens
Won’t blame it on the system
Cause I know it’s me that’s broken

Can’t drift away
Not even in a binge
Anchored to my pathology
Society’s definition of the fringe

Done drowning in the sorrow
I just shower in it to get clean
And wash away the hope
A habit from when I was a teen

Quit pushing off the bottom
You can’t fail if you don’t start
But still I die again and again
Trying desperately to break apart

Cause this nihilism gives me a meaning
Paradoxical in and of itself
To cut deeper in the wound
Cathartic hatred for myself

Done saying I’ll make one more attempt
To walk the path of righteousness
Cause I’ve only tried that four thousand times
And each time I’m left with less and less

All I’ve got is this page
And my obsession with the pain
I’m an infinite beaker!
From which the flow just won’t wane

You’d think my spirit’s dead
Cause I’ve been trying to **** it for a while
But the spirit’s hard to ****
Even after a couple million miles
Epochs in life have a cyclical nature.
Sorrow is a typhoon — but even the most severe of tempests fade.
There is always another renaissance.
You’ll see the light of dawn.
Of that I can assure you.
TS Nov 2019
Starry sky, crickets chirp, wind skips lightly across my skin
I whisper,
I am peaceful, my love.

Sun beams pierce the windshield, my hair floats recklessly from the open window, music playing,
I sing
I am carefree, my love.

A light drizzle with a light rustle in the trees, grey sky, puddles under foot
I mutter
I am lonely, my love.

Sharp cold air scratched against my face, snow like glass, shiver in my bones,
I Bellow
I am angry, my love.

Chaotic gusts like trains rushing by, thunder crashes, the sky groans in angst
I cry
I am in pain, my love.

The breeze softens and floats with the rain, eerie stillness, the world is quiet once more,
I gasp
I am exhausted, my love.

My moods are like the wind. Ever changing, ever growing, and forever calling your name.




-t.s.
CLARYT Oct 2019
Blackboard paint,
Round silver handle,
Peeking through the crack,
Black light,
A singular chair,
Right in the middle,
Light bulb swinging,
From the ceiling,
And all my horrors,
Piled high in stacks,
Like magazines,
Jam packed.

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 23/10/2019
There's a corner of my mind I call the dark room, where all my fears, horrors, bad memories and failures are stored.
Lisa Aug 2019
There is this girl named depression
She doesn't care if I'm happy
She will bring in bad news when i just got in a good mood
She doesn't care if I'm with a good dude
She tells me he just wants me to send nudes
I tell her to leave her presence isn't needed she doesn't listen
She wants to live with me forever
Whoever this may concern if you see her avoid her
M Aug 2019
I 'm a pendulum.
Swinging in and out of the light,
Wanting to come out of this mood, to smile.

In the dark now,
Heading in and getting darker,
Helpless but to stroke another depressing second.

About to strike now,
I know I'll turn back soon,
I can feel the soft light on my back assuring me.

I have turned,
Finally light is on my face,
Those frightening thoughts seem to wash away.

I burst into the light,
I know it won't last forever,
The darkness behind relentlessly tugging at my mind.
CLARYT May 2019
Todays swelling black storm cloud,
Was a wispy tiny glimpse of fluff,
Only yesterday.....

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 16/05/2019
How quickly a not so great mood can accelerate..
chitragupta May 2019
My soul hunts cheap justice
Over the plains of carpeted floors
Beyond the savannah of desk chairs
Away from the huts of curious minds
and the shine of polished nameplates

My eyes seek cheap justice
Looking to the sea of masked faces
A mountain of guilt stands in between
An avalanche of shame crashes down
Forcing me back to my silent retreat

My heart finds cheap justice
in a kind word, or maybe four?
Or in an arm around the shoulder -
Maybe a smile as wide as the Amazon.
Priceless for me, an expense of your gesture.
Funny how one small gesture from one person can lift you up amidst all the other horrible things and people around.
Infinity Apr 2019
I had the sunshine
The calm, the serenity
Of loose waves caressing the ocean shore
Of sweet sunshine bathing the world in golden joy
Of perfect winds, keeping the temperatures just right
I had it all
But now i find myself morphing back into what I used to be
The sunshine gives way to dark starry nights
The stars shine and glisten, always just out of reach
The waves are turbulent on the shore, crashing, thrashing, threatening those that come near
The winds are both silent and deadly in their hostile unpredictability
Oh sweet serenity, where have you gone?
I was glad when I found you
Now I’m all alone
The turbulence is back, it creeps in at the dead of night
When darkness takes more than just the morning light
Dear calm collected control
I’m holding onto you with the tips of my fingernails
Holding onto you with careful lies I tell myself, to keep going
I tell myself you’ll come back soon
That its just the effects of the day or the moon
But I feel it stirring now
The baseless anxiety
The unquestionable sadness that lingers in the back of my mind, at no thoughts in particular
The lack of thoughts and the sheer volume of them stuns me into paralysis
I am motionless as I attempt to move
I am confused
As I think ten steps ahead, while moving 3 steps back, I wonder, what have I done wrong?
I wonder, why has the sunshine gone
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