Today mama am signing off
In this suite and am ever gorgeous
Am emotional that I made you proud and ever pompous
You raised me with value and to never show off
But rather to strive and always grow up
I wish father was here to gaze at his face ever joyous
I am through but yet I  forever move forth
I love you mama though I've never spoke thus

Doodling out the hours
And minutes
Become tiny emojis
Criss-cross, half-finished
Tic tac toe games
And I feel lost
Each box a reminder
Of these quarantine
Afternoons, and your name
Is always on my lips
Along with the words
I miss you

my body
misses you
more than it can handle
the pain of the withdrawal.

Your presence ignites a spark
that you may not see
like a matchstick whose capable
of starting a fire in me

In your absence,
continues an ordinary day
until when you’re around do i display
a sense of enthusiasm
in the air
an energy only found
in your presence
when you are here.

Do you remember that Cold night of December ?

When I was close to you
Wanting you to hold me in your warm embrace,

When I was afraid of the dark
Wished you paved the path with light

When I poured my heart
And you just pushed me apart

When I was weak
But you acted as a wreak

When I wished for you to be there
But you slowly faded away to nowhere

When you accused me of something I didn't do,
Just so that you had a reason to go and showed me your real hue

Then why in that Cold Night Of December you met me,
When all you wanted was to break me ?

Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I see rejection where there is none?
Being in love is like flying with no safety net
It feels like nothing else in the world, but,
when you fall, you fall hard.
Pain takes my breath away
thinking about you.
I know you have needs
I have needs too.
Whose do we satisfy? Why?
Who decides? Who balances the scales?
Why is it so ******* hard being away from you?
I try to hold back the tears
I try to respect your space
But, ******* hell, I am screaming
and you can't hear me.
I miss you, I want to touch you
but you won't come.
If that is not rejection, then
my mind is hell on earth.

'''Remember the kiss on summer??
It's smell still lingers on my lips
**** who has such addictive lips
Remember the baggy shirt you wore on winter
Still smells you
But the heart you had all along
All gone long ago😂😂'''