I am trapped,
Trapped in a delusion,
A mirage of what once was,
Where shadows dance in the corners,
And echoes of laughter fade into silence.

There is no one;
I am left alone,
A solitary figure in a landscape of memories,
The nights look haunted,
Cloaked in a shroud of darkness,
Whispering secrets of the unseen.

Day whispers a cry,
A cry of a dead man within my heart,
A heartbeat that falters,
Lost in the labyrinth of my thoughts,
I am a prisoner,
Who has done no crime,
Yet here I languish,
Bound by invisible chains.

I want to move,
But can’t feel my feet,
I want to talk,
But silence wraps around me,
I want to cry,
But has no reason
I want to laugh,
Laugh louder again!
Again no reason.

I am a ghost lost in my stories,
Where I am dead,
Yet still feel the pain,
The pain of my dreams,
And the people I left behind.

I want to return,
Return back to them,
But I’ve lost the way that takes me to them,
The path obscured by the fog of regret,
I am stuck,
Stuck in this dream,
A wisp of a thought,
A fleeting shadow.

I want someone to wake me up,
To pull me from this slumber,
I want to get out of the character,
Shed this skin that no longer fits,
I want to get out of the cell
Which has no wall,
A prison of my own making,
Where freedom is a whisper,
And hope flickers like a dying flame.

Elusive idealization—
I yearn for it,
beguiled by its seminal scope.

I dig my fingers into its flesh
as my past pulls me back in
with cold, frayed hands,
seeking to drown me
in a chamber of oblivion—
until the end of time.

Or so it seems;
as every mirage has its day,
and reality is no exception—
the construct of constructs
we all imagine at once.

Regardless of the outcome,
I will see you all again
under the ground.

Shimmering oblivion forms, dancing in sunlight—
Ripple thickens the lip of the sand.
Structural emblem searing the desert—
Music-slip, cockhantuu.
Gape-sunrise scolding, turney—
Allow my feet walk ‘pon sun-furnace sand!
Emerald Green, reside in distance.
Behold! The gift of grassland?
Gapefold, turney. Contstad, noble—
Sweet milk oozes from the scorpion's gland!
Oasis of milk— of mother-cry milk!
Breastmilk of this sun-scorched strand.

A distant shimmer, a mirage of water,
Dancing on the edge of a scorched path's border.
Born of heat and refracted light,
Like intimacy’s clash—its endless fight:
A step closer, and it slips farther.

Happiness, too, wears a fleeting guise,
Always just beyond desperate eyes.
Eluding even the fiercest demands.
No matter the cost, no matter the stride,
It lingers just out of reach, then hides.

And so the future drifts and flows,
Day by day, person by person, lows by lows.
No matter how "happily ever after" is sold,
How rainbows shine after storms grow cold,
Or how the tunnel defends its lighted ends,
For some, the chaos never bends.

Fairytales, dreams, hopes retold—
For certain hearts, they never unfold.

-fir.m

it's got to be the right time
the right one for the
trance of dance
of crying
of love
or prayer
stay awhile to feel
the breath of hours
or the pilgrims breathing
near darkening forests
zebras forgetting their
blackness
the pulse of far riders
blown away
by a mirage caravan

blessed those who
pray for the calmness
of rain

I've lusted after countless women after my ex.
Often gave myself a magical thinking high.

Oh how I can be whisked away by the perfect girl.

Truth is perfect people don't exist.
Some people can leave you more scarred than you originally thought.
While others aren't even capable of what you're in need of.

We have to be careful not project our needs onto others.
Chances are they can't fulfill those needs.

You're in control of what you need.
Getting what you want takes patience.
It's about finding someone that gives you a mutual reciprocation.

Anything else is just called magical thinking.
A mirage.

Choose to live in reality,
chances are it's much better than you're fantasy.

if you live in a desert
any mirage is beautiful
even knowing it as an illusion
making plans around
how it will change your life
make you happier
than you have ever been
when you arrive
it dissipates
so you can start looking
for the next one