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Maria Hernandez Mar 2021
I feel like a phone that has been used all day,
Until it's breaking Point
like it has reached its lowest battery percentage,
until its dead
I feel emotionally drained.

I give i,-I give, and I give
until I've given my everything.
Until the end I feel like no one cares about
giving me a single thing, I feel used and ignored
and when lm Finally recharged Im being picked up
again...
Woke up at 3:00am to write this
Mikayla Ratliff Mar 2021
Up… Up… UP. Down… down… down…
My mind is a storm. Chaos. An ocean of thoughts.
Ideas. Aspirations.
Confusion. Despair. Isolation.
    How long must I suffer?


alone


   Surrounded yet alone.


But then I’m not. Up, up, up I float.
      I walk on clouds.
       Mountain tops.
I cling to this feeling.
  How long will it last?
   I, naively, hope forever.
I float in peaceful rivers.
I lift my eyes to the Heavens, and burst with thankfulness.
I’m okay
I’m not alone.
I am at peace and enveloped by everlasting love.
Though I crash, abruptly.
I fall and fall and fall. I crack.
But I heal.
    I endure, keep trudging.
The confusion and lies of Satan don’t pin me down.
                                Not anymore.
You are with me, forever.
You wait for me. Love me. Hold me. Walk beside me.
I am a warrior. Survivor. Stronger than ever.
I can’t do it alone. This life, this rollercoaster of a mind.
I can’t trust myself, I put myself in Your Hands.
I trust You.
I cling to you, with all that I am.
For You are good, and You provide. 
 I repent.
I am renewed.
Peace ever flowing, Love everlasting.
My Love. My Father. My Savior.
Thank You.
I am not a disappointment, or crazy, or demon possessed.
                       Your Holy Spirit remains.
You love through me. You were intentional in my creation.
  I am Yours.
                         Forever and always.
                                    Amen.
My soul is afraid
Of when love used to be dangerous,
When home was not synonymous with protection,
And when I wasn't safe
Even from myself.
Memories contuse my heart
And leave bitter embers on my brain.
I wonder when I will be able to let go
Of a past that should not hold so much power
Over a future I've worked so hard for.
Mikayla Ratliff Mar 2021
I spend.
I drink.
I rationalize.
I think.
No filter.
I speak.
Hypocrite.
I leak.
Overdrive.
Can’t stop.
Socialize.
I shop.
   Mentality.
No breaks.
Try to heal.
I ache.
Pray.
For sanity.
Vanish.
Vanity.
Love.
Conditions.
        Strive.
Submission.
All is fine.
Squander.
Why?
I wonder.
Stand up.
I pledge.
        Not worth the fight.
Allege.
        Drained.
Mentally.
Stained.
Fundamentally.
Saved.
Eternal.
Grateful.
External.
Unchanging.
All praise.
Loved.
Unfazed.
Amara Numen Mar 2021
I swim into the depth of sulpiride every night
where those times I died like the dead roses
when I took the stairs right to the light
every composes derived the harmony of doses

To swear upon the streams of reckless
To the labyrinth of happiness
here I go to come fire the enclaves
Maybe nobody in home, hopeless
It has been long time, I been medicating for over one month and battling now I just wanna write again. Pardon me.
I'm sorry for nightmares
buried so deep
I screamed in your face
for what you did in my sleep

for the way that I promised
and failed to awake
while my sleepwalking heart
found problems to make

for leaving you lonely
in the world that is real
while I slipped off the edge
into deep dark surreal

for how I'm still sleeping
and have failed to escape
the mirages of monsters
when love is at stake

I wish I could keep you,
confirm you're enough,
but these nightmares within
won't let me wake up
When mental illness eats your relationship, who can relate?
Creepypumpkins Mar 2021
I would rather look at the sky with stars and beauty
Go to sleep and see ugliness behind my eyelids
For hours asleep the nightmares come in

I would rather look at the moon full and fat
Then go to sleep and deal with the horrific details of my past
For the nightmares as I sleep

I would rather look at the aurora borealis
Then I have to deal with the horrific gory details of the future
For the night mares are comes in

I would rather find a planet in the sky with a telescope
Then deal with prophetic dreams of doomsday
For these prophetic nightmares calm in my sleep

I would rather pull an all night or instead
Creepypumpkins Feb 2021
The moon…
With its phrases and different shapes
Sure is it’s OK to be going through different phrases and emotions
The sun with rising and sets
Means it’s OK to have your ups and downs
Your emotions will not last at least not the  negative ones
It’s OK to be human the night and Day sky shows that this is what we are supposed to be like going up and down and having different phases and emotions
It’s OK not to be OK
Creepypumpkins Feb 2021
As the bats fly out of the barn
During the sun sad night falls and wonders
Come alive and so beauty
There can only be seen at night
Star patterns
The moon and the planets
We are at the hinterlands of daylight my friends
So look up words to the sky and see the Big Dipper
And what’s your problems disappear as they are smaller than the universe
Grey Feb 2021
I do not believe that anyone could love someone with mental illness.
Either we feel too much or not enough at all.
Either we're sleeping too much,
Daydreaming
Eating too much or not at all
The nightmares or night terrors
The days you cant feel emotion, or when you feel it all
No I do not believe anyone could love someone with mental illness
Any attempt and you cant be discarded and forgotten like you never existed
Its all a lie.
The only truth is that everyone is selfish and will never truly love another
Failed attempts with people that "love" me
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