I knew it was bad when my fingernails were ringed with red as I ran them over ribbons and excused myself from confetti cake to make them redder.
my head was burning a sparkling candle burning my hands were yearning a spazzing sticking yearning
my family was singing a muffled stifling singing my ears were ringing a loud ear-piercing ringing
sing ring sting stop stop stop my scalp is stinging
Nothing was clear until my fingernails were red and coated with pieces of my head: rubbed raw and picked clean You’re telling me this is something you haven’t seen?
It doesn’t make sense because: I don’t put pencils in a perfect pristine line I don’t count my cheerios before I can dine I can turn the lights on and off just fine but my fingernails are red and apparently that’s a sign.
I can tell you where every single pinprick lives and spreads fire down my scalp into my brain How it tells me your math homework can wait save me or you’ll go insane
My nails are short but still red My brain is intact but still missing its head
Oh, how I could See the Disorder in a demented disturbed decision to forfeit my favorite vanilla cake for blood
stop stop stop, i’m begging you, brain
you can’t stop; you know you need pain leave me alone, and you’ll go insane.
We have to deal with the emotion and the fear we have built up in over a year of being inside the internal wrecking ball we try to hide from our nearest and our dearest when on zoom as we try to pretend that they are in the room so now we get to meet in the sun and to have a little fun, from a distance at the insistance of the men in grey who are supposed to be leading the way back to reality and some form of normality will we make it this time climb up and out lose the doubt and the lack of trust I guess we must learn to smile but it might take a while
So pleased to see the UK out in the spring sunshine today, but it has left me really anxious because I so want it to last for everyone. Think it is going to be some time before I can trust again.
I'm glad that I don't have a mental illness Those people are an incredible drain A drain on society A burden to carry Something to be cruelly thrown away I'm glad that I don't have a mental illness I'm glad that I am perfectly sane I had to watch this depressing man crying on the train I heard that he went and hung himself That's the pathetic nature of mental health I'm glad that isn't me It will never be For I am mentally healthy with not a scrap of empathy!
for i am mentally healthy with not a scrap of empathy! 🖤
He slithered out of my hands again, right when I thought I caught him. It was my fault for loosening my grip, for trusting his word on a whim. Soon the game starts back up again, the chances of winning are always slim. Except I don't want to play anymore because he always has to cheat to win. Plus he never follows the simplest rule, and throws a fit whenever he does lose. He just want me to take what he dishes out, he likes when I smile through the abuse. He likes me trapped and backed in a corner, he needs to take away my right to choose. Then he’ll blame it on his sickness again, that’s always his go to excuse.