I should be done trying
But I don't know how to stop
I thought I was over this
But I guess that I'm not
I don't know what to do
I'm losing composure
I'm counting down the days
I'm losing time for closure
What do you call us
We never had a fling
Or a full conversation
Were we ever anything?
I think you're a thief
You stole my attention
From the man I'm going to marry
I just need an intervention
I think I'm am addict
I need you out of my life
So stop showing me interest
Save that for your wife

Despite the fact that I thought you were hot.
What you did really did not hit the spot.
Because of you and their foolishness.
Now I will have nothing left.

I will be homeless.
Forever lost, and left talentless.
I hope these people never find peace of mind.
Because I was the one who was left behind.

I know you did it to be kind or hurtful.
What they did for you and your people was helpful.
Until someone else stepped in and held my life by a thread.
Maybe someday soon I will fall dead.

Because all the lies they feed us all.
I hope you have fun at the mall.
Have fun person who’s name rhymes with dating.
In that corner I was trying.

All you fools who ruined my chances time and again.
Like with moving arms I even right with a pen.
Again and again I play a song.
For me you better hope nothing is wrong.

I know you were married.
But I did not make the advance you carried.
Have fun all with your picnic.
Because you can like an apex you can have it big.

We almost got married
We almost stayed together as long as we lived
We almost started a family with eachother
But "we almost" is not the same as "we did".

In a garden,
As beautiful as heaven,
At night Jasmine,
With white silky lips,
Unfolded its perfumed petals,
Blossoms in ethereal beauty,
With a creamy glow.
In the morning the Red Rose in bud,
Drenched in dew,
Unfurled its petals one by one,
On a single stem with its prickly thorn,
Sassy and beautiful.
Each with an ego of,
"I am the best",
Their hatred flared,
In fumes their scent flowed in waves.
The  birds and insects looked on,
Prayed for peace,
Tried to pacify them.
Then one day their enmity changed to love.
Bees and butterflies sang and chanted love songs,
As they sipped their nectar.
Soon The Rose proposed,
My love, let's get married,
For long have we tarried.
So the hummingbird  flew them to them to a famous wedding planner,
To be stringed into garlands,
Jasmine for the bride,
And The Red Rose for the groom.
The couple took their vows,
So did The Rose and Jasmine.
They made a beautiful pair,
And their children were called Jasrose.

Forgive me my love, for I always want you
All I expect is for you to want me that much too
Be afraid when I’m about to leave, clinginess and everything else
At times, I might be stubborn, but not to forget till my hair is no auburn,
I will love you, ‘till my dying day
By your side I will always lay
If your happiness would need me without
I love you so much, I would gladly walk out
For that will give mein liebing joy,
I have no say, just for you to enjoy,
Mostly, I could be stupid, yes I know
But I feel bad when I give you sorrow
Answer my questions, I’ll keep on asking ‘till there’s no tomorrow
Be patient with me, don’t be cold as snow,
Please stop being snappy,
That doesn’t make me happy,
All I want every time is to see you smile,
Even if that would send me off a mile.

I’m fading away, backing off from life.
Echoes of joy and faults pass like falling stars.
Every day has a few drops less of strife.
Silent shrapnel crashes in soft and witless shards.
And I’m shrinking from the Now;
I couldn’t even tell you how.

Moments of ecstasy and pain are sealed,
Like shrines to a life I still know.
Etched in summer’s softness or in steel.
I am vanishing, but I don’t know where I’ll go.
My once-beloved and my son are here.
One ignores me, while the other
Watches in helpless fear.

Five A.M and I am by myself…again.
Sun washes in with sorrow in its face.
For the thousands of times, I have slept alone,
I feel like a stranger in this place,
I once called our home.
Now it’s a cage to me,
Filled with broken promises and mis-matched lace.

I am going now, heading toward the West.
Leaving memories and pain behind with a sleeping wife..
Every day brings me closer to an end
Leaves fly in the road behind me, remnants of a life.
I am crying for the misspent years.
But no more of those; I am changing, switching gears.

September 17, 2010
Edited – January 5, 2016