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zen Aug 2019
we only exist in a chaotic fever dream
but please
let me linger in the gap
between the lines of love and leverage
for just a little longer
i want to see how it feels
the beautiful death of something awful
Verbatim Lynnie Aug 2019
your brain, darling. what happened to it?
I remember when we once were fine.
but blood has left your body, boy.
you've got a broken heart and ****** up mind.
but why? what made your thoughts blank out?
and what caused each emotion to disappear?
was it mommy? you can tell me.
after all, she's not even here.
she left you, boy. she's not returning.
I know it hurts. but it's certainly true.
was it addiction? or was it her freedom?
what trapped her more? her problems, or you?
onto all of this, did you ever try?
you wake up to sadness, that's all that you give.
im so ******* sorry that everyone leaves you,
but it's no shock when you act like a kid.
moral of the story? don't ******* be you.
I hate how you act, I hate when you breathe.
just go ******* cry and tell yourself that you're nothing,
until that's all your ******* heart can perceive.
im so sorry for how depressing this is. recently my mom has... left lol. ive been moved from my home, to live with my dad, who's great although I haven't been around him much in my life. my mom has issues. she's not a good mom. im honestly scared of her, and she's made me feel like **** for years. she's recently told me in a text "boo ******* hoo" so that's why I chose that title. im not looking for pity or apologies, or attention. im just venting and giving an explanation for this poem.
all feedback is welcomed and appreciated
alexa j l Jul 2019
empty promises are full
filled with unplanted flowers
by the voices of our loved

the seeds whisper ***** words
that are used against us
they are manipulation
in its most exquisite form

we are completely blinded
we are fooled to think it’s love
let me tell you a secret
empty promises are not
Syreena Phelps Jul 2019
Him
It's about time I write about him
Him who tried to steal all of my strength
But took my weaknesses
Him who bruised me where clothes could hide and skin could cover
Him who ****** compassion out of each vein that runs beneath my flesh
Him who kicked motivation out of the insides of my cheeks, barely missing my teeth
Him who tossed me at the wall so hard the noise will echo into my grave
Him who would drive me off the road while I am walking
Him whose clenched fists kissed me more than he did
Him who would say the words "I love you" like he was screaming "I'm just trying to keep you!"
Him who'd tell me he's always hated when women have red hair only after I told him that's my favourite colour on me
Him who only cared about his favourite colour on me
Him who said he'd give me a home but gave me a cage, a place to sleep but gave me a space to cry, a place to live but an atmosphere that made me want to die
Him who strived to convince life to leave my dark brown eyes
Him who tried so hard to steal all of my strength
But in the end, I left him with my weaknesses.
It's probably sloppy. I wrote this really fast in one sitting and am deciding maybe I should post it before I decide to edit it. Enjoy.
Contoured Jul 2019
I am not the princess.
I've had a pea under my mattress for a while now,
But you've found no concern in that.
In fact, it's slowly been duplicated.
At first, only by a few,
Then dozens.
Now there are hundreds of them,
Unconstrained by the confines of the bed.
But so long as there are peas,
You will argue them to fit.
So long as there are peas,
I will lie, uneasy,
Though I am no princess.
Noa Adler Jul 2019
Will it be any better?
Could it get any worse?
Give me a sign, a mark, a letter,
Faith cannot sink in with force.

Do not lie or fret, just tell me,
Am I being used again?
What’s this power which compels me?
Should I run while I still can?

Then, when you came out of heaven,
When your raised me up from hell,
Glowing eyes, and wings of raven,
Willing to help and to rebel.

Things I think about at night-
How you saved me, gripped me tight,
How my heart just simply sings,
When I’m safe under your wings.
Noa Adler Oct 2018
Random gestures of love
Random gestures of kindness
That light up my day
Like that one time
You said that you loved me
For no particular reason
Unrelated to anything happening
At that moment.

My heart filled with warmth
And a smile found its way
To my pale, usually dull face.
I looked up and said that I loved you as well,
And true happiness bloomed
In my fragile heart
After weeks of drought
After weeks of emptiness.

And my smile was so bright
And I felt so warm
You could have mistaken me
For the sun itself.
And we, sun and moon,
Were the only ones that mattered,
For earth could not affect us.

But then the incident never repeated
And instead of love
I got glares and silence
And your happiness continued
To feed on my own
As your hands continued to take
Every last bit of pleasure
I had to offer.

And as every sun sets,
I sank in the sea
of blue and grey
As I transcended into the mundane routine
Of being lonely when with you
For your arms do not wrap me with warmth
But only
Anger.

The sun and the moon
Live afar.
They complete one another
Yet they do not meet
And when they do
All light drains from the sun
An eclipse.
March 2018
Noa Adler Oct 2018
They say that insanity
Is doing the same thing
Over and over
Expecting different outcomes.

So what exactly was I thinking
When I tried to kiss your lips
Not a second after they spat lies
Like knives into my heart?

What went through my head
When I tried to hold your hand
Just a minute after it left
A red mark on my cheek?

What did I think I was doing
When I tried to embrace your body
A short moment after it pushed me
Further into the bathroom wall
To muffle my protest?

And why, oh, why do I keep crying
Every time you walk away
When a few glances later
You crawl back to me again?

And by what right do I keep crying
Every time you lie or fail me
If my arms are always open
And I love you all the same?

And by everything I know that’s true
By the last bit of sanity in my mind
I swear this will be the last time

And not because I’ll get up
Or be strong or walk away.

But because you’ve walked all over me
And all over again
I find myself holding on
To something-
someone that’s not there.

And with your next step,
I might just snap and break
And fall apart completely,
Just for your sake.
June 2018
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