All the makeup in the world
Won't make you feel
Less INSECURE.

Perch up here on this stool so we can judge you, analyse and season you and so help redefine you. Let us make-up for the blemished you, whatever the level of damaged you and so apply a brand new layer to you.

We can enhance you with a new shade of you, we can sponge, brush and fill-in you, conceal the less-than-perfect you. We can blush you, highlight and contour you, fade you and blend you right into the crowd of our just-like-yous. We can make-up for the real you and ensure noone ever gets a clue as to the essence of the beauty of the original true you.

Just perch here and let us re-make you.

Push and pull
Yin and yang
How is this
The only song I sang

Close and far
Wrong and right
How can it be
We always fight

Ups and downs
Mistakes and remorse
Why do we always
Make things worse

Human nature
Wish we were greater.

Push and pull
Love and hate
How is this
My forever mate

Close and far
Pity and war
Why is it always
An ending with a scar.

Ups and downs.
Depression and joy
Oh why do I miss
Being with that boy

Human nature
Wish we were greater

Why don't we begin
Appreciate what's within.

When I first began
It was just for fun
All face
No eyes
A nightmare
Terror
Picasso portrait
In disguise

Then it really began
To beautify
Liquid layers
Shattered hues
Blacking out
Spaces
In purple
And blue

Enthusiasm wanes
Experiences
Replace passion
With patience
Love for myself
Missing in action
All things breaking
All things fading

So you're insecure...
You've come to the right place
I wear the mask of alter
and then dance the night through peoples eyes

i keep a drawer in
my bathroom full
of all the things that make
me appear pretty

the little pots of shimmery
eyeshadows to suggest
i’m feminine but more
importantly fully awake
and the dark crayons to
draw lines that simulate
an innocent expression
the powder to smooth out
the bad spots so you
don’t see the bad thoughts
the mascara to pull my lashes
outward and pull the focus
away from what you might
possibly see behind my eyes

fear
do not
let them see
the fear

and tucked in the drawer
of pencils and palettes
i keep a sharpener
so when my womanly
sense of protection
begins to dull i will
not find myself
at odds with the competition

in the drawer above them
i keep my elastic bands
to prevent a slow
and knotted descent
into the madness
of being choked
in my hair
my own weird
sometimes insane
always interesting or
at least provocative thoughts

i also keep a pack
of razor blades for
when the constant struggle
to maintain this illusion
of sanity gets to be
too much for me

the hair ties are stretched
beginning to fall out
won’t hold things in place
nearly well enough
and i am completely
blind and lost in this
rainstorm and the wind
blowing in my face

the blades
are calling me again
a dark and
slippery promise
of something
of what?

of peace?
lies
of art?
i can do better
of pain?
always

elusive always
getting away from
me just as soon
as i can pin it down

the purpose
is fear
but only the
expression of it

i’m afraid
always so
afraid it’s not
good like this

but if i cover
the fear with
my clothes
no one will
ever even
know

i keep a drawer
in my bathroom
and every morning
i select powders
and pencils to
present myself as alive

and every morning
i stare down a pack
of razor blades
half wishing i wasn’t