If I plunge a knife in my heart
And wake up again
Will I see a new life?
Will I see a new me?
Oh no, but I'm very empty inside
The knife would just
Find its way out free

Like a stem floundering through muck
Just to blossom in the sun,
I will do my everything
to make you feel at home.

When December ends and the sea
Reconnects to its frosty coat
And we stroll over pavements
Icey as opioded eyes

I will try to fix myself
Into your fantasy

For I know you could never
Be mine and I know

I have nothing left to lose

Apart from your physical presence.

press your tattoos against me
until they rub off on my skin
we have built something bigger than this sadness
drink me in like a well aged bottle of cabernet
you’re my favorite escape from the madness

I must be entertaining,
I most definitely must be welcoming,
Why else would misery love my company?
Why else would grief visit me daily?
Why if not this reason would anxiety be my spouse?
Why else would pain and self loathe be my starving children?
It must be because I am welcoming,
That void filled my house to the brim.
Or could it be because I am naive?

Like I hope one day, eventually your name will be erased out of my mind.
Ur name wouldn't bring back bittersweet memories like before.
Cause then, when I am fully healed, I would be able to love someone without the unwanted toxins in it.
Anything would just be enough, eventually in time.
So I'm guessing that right now, it's just a temporary goodbye.

If I was strong enough,
I would ignore you.
But I just can't.
Because love is madness.

It's made of flesh -
The walls, doors and windows.
It makes my air boil with trembles.
It's made of scorned blood -
The floors, ceilings and tables.
My limbs drip slowly, making me heavy.

In the place where was the eye, now is just a hole.
In the place where you waited, now I'm left alone.
But alone is not what you're thinking of,
Alone for me means
A feast of broken bodies
All floating in white rooms with skies as ceilings
Everything's a limit
The iron too powerful
Here they come on my chest o, ****** are thee.

Roaming on northern winds
Lay and feel me
I give myself to you
Feast of me alone
Now that I have nothing more to give
At last I give to you my soul.