If I told you a story
a story of the heart
the one that butchered my soul
the one that toyed with my heart
the one that left me with pain
the one that my prayers were never answered
the one that was
the one that is

The one that smoked me
the one that turned me into ashes
the one that danced on my grave
the one that dried my eyes
the one that took my breath
this is that story


We are here cause money isn't fame
We are here cause your the bullet that you used to take for me
we are here cause we don't make sense
We are here cause i need to find a way to breathe
we are here cause love is a real fiction
We are here cause death didn't want us
we are here cause ilove you is just a chorus
we are here cause the broken pieces,can't be fixed
We are here cause I don't believe
We are here cause i don't believe in you,us...love
We are here cause you resurrected and i died
we are here cause i died along time ago, but death couldn't have me
we are here cause i hate you more

We are here cause you didn't set me free

I'm being faithful to nothing,
to a memory,
to the ghost of what we never had.
But letting someone else sleep under these sheets,
hold me like you did,
feels like betrayal.
So I rather go to bed alone,
       cover my body with your shirt,
                and if I try hard enough I can still smell you in it,
than let anyone else erase with their touch the prints of your hands.

Listen.
I know you've lived longer
Than my short quarter century life.
I know you've seen more,
Done more, loved more,
Touched more, tasted more,
Experienced more things than i.
I know you're only trying to help.
I appreciate the giving of advice.
I know you mean well
When you say it's time to give them up,
It's time to move on,
To be my own person,
To learn to live for only myself.
But you haven't lived through
The total decimation of your family.
You haven't watched as the lives
Of your loved ones fall into utter ruin
One by one.
You weren't relegated to helpless paralysis
By the fear that you'd lose them all
And by the depression that came with knowing
You couldn't even help yourself.
You don't know what it feels like
To have the dagger of abandonment,
The shattered shards of broken hearts,
The pinpoint needles of disillusionment,
The three-pronged fork of misunderstanding,
****** into your soul over and over
By every lemon life throws your way.
You don't know what it is to stand
On the brink of death
Because if you don't have them,
You have nothing.
You still have your family.
All intact and whole.
So don't begrudge me
My clutching, grasping, clinging attempts
At keeping what remnants of a family I have
Together.
I will not let them go
Until they have to be pried
From my dead hands.
And even then, I will still be loyal.

*They are all i have.

I hope you choke on the names of our would be children
when it happens to cross into your thoughts
the few nights you don't sink into bed ****** out of your mind

I hope you ***** down the hallway thinking of me
I hope you never make it to the bathroom on time
I hope your stomach acid burns like a ripcord up your trachea

You told me no one had good ***** like I did
And he said it, too
Every last time I cheated on you

Just remember you betrayed me first
Told me to **** someone to put equality back into the universe

It's sad to say I did it out of spite
I could have been loyal

Instead we let each other become driftwood
burning blue and green
and floated away without a fight