our foreheads are battered with the symphony
corrupted by theory and gauze
your lips are sweet
but mine are sweeter
let me see you to sing consolidation
let me see you at all again
wellness cannot be spoken
though my expression heed no desire
to lure you into my hold
to cradle your head in my breast
dizzied and dazed
remember me there
find me in the warm night
such kindly temperament out of reach
reach for me when your bed becomes cold
when you yourself become cold
mustn't you fear me among the others
I long to lend you my hand
There are times when I can feel
come to me
speak to me

When I look at you
I feel like I am in my fantasy
You are the ray of afternoon sun
caressing my skin
as I lay reading

You are the excitement
that bubbles inside of me
when something brings me laughter

Even my favorite fictional character
-created with only lovable flaws-
cannot fill me with such a rush
of pure joy

You are the golden amber rays of sunlight
the delicate wings in my chest
fluttering glowing warmth
You fill my senses

It’s no wonder the great artists
rendered you in so many forms
in stone or paint
You could be no more beautiful

Dark lines and a wicked bough
dancing merry eyes
You are everything

Can you feel the weight
Sagging on your bones
And the dead skin
Carrying your woes

Can you feel the pain
Run through your tears
And the eyes burn
Shining with fear

Can you feel it
Consuming your mind
And your thoughts
No longer holding the monsters inside

I heard that pain nourishes courage.
And that romanticised love is cancer.

I hope that this suffocating, consuming  love will devour enough of me.

Will make me sick enough to find the courage. The cure I need.

To fall out of love with you...

It was love that I felt for you
It was love that you made me feel.
You controlled my heartbeat
You had my heart in your hands.
But you let me down.
My heart may hurt because of you.
But I will never forget our happy moments.
I will never forget our good times
I miss you so much.
But I have to let you go.
Like you did it with me.
We weren't meant to be.

The universe talks to me.
And right now it's saying you're no good for me
Everywhere I turn, I see how we would not work
We're too similar
We don't add to each other's character
We don't grow together - we grow alongside each other
We believe the same things - but when we don't, we can't hear the other out.
I don't want to listen.

We drown in each other's eyes but claw up each others minds
Planting traces of explosives that time will force together
Into a whole, ready to shatter
And take with it our sanity,
Our mutual care
Our love

You're no good for me, the universe tells me
It gives me many alternatives,
Throws people in my path
Brings back old friends, previous acquaintances, long-forgotten memories
I'm not listening yet.

The universe tries to talk to me
I don't want to listen
I want to drown in your eyes like you drown in my voice

The universe tries to talk to me.
I don't want to listen.

But you don't talk to me anymore.
Should I start listening?

being around you is difficult
you make my heart stop and race
all at once
and you make me want to be a better person
and you make me smile more than anyone has in a long time
and you make me blush
and you make me nervous
and you make me laugh
and you make me happy

every part of me wants to dive into your arms
because when im with you
you make me feel
for just a moment
that everything will be okay
my mind drowns in chaos
but you make it slow down

i feel all of this
but i wont say a word
because while youre the sun to me
shes the sun to you
and you deserve whatever makes you happy
more than anyone ive ever met

i hate it,
that you gaze upon another
while i’m sitting here, upon you,
as just another bother

i know i’m nothing,
you even say it’s true
it’s sickening
that I keep thinking about you.

i’ve given up too many times.
years of waiting, uneventful
i hate it as much as i hate him,
but i don’t want to hate you too

i want to shower you with love,
with appreciation and wonder.
but i don’t think thats possible,
with you like you are now.

so leave me be, as I stay in deep.
roam in my head, again once more
trying to find another connection,
this wall i’ve built, now torn.

i tried so hard, yet effort wasted
my love so wide, yet don’t value a ton
these months have felt like centuries,
and now they amount to none.

you’re gone, i have to accept that.
and we’re done, i have to move on.
so as i walk away, my head still down,
will i ever find another one?