The meaning of growing up,
Perhaps lost in translation
I never realized what it meant,
To lose your innocence
And the feeling of playing catch up,
When the train had left the station.

It’s a tall order
Sloping miles above my head in loose handholds
That crumble to gravel at my touch,
Rolling under my feet sliding back
Further than I can crawl forward.
It hurts in scraped palms
And hearts of my own both beating
In and out of my chest.
My knees tremble at the eternity above my head.
But the view,
The sun unhindered by Earthly clouds,
The stars that I had lost sight of
Make this treacherous climb worth all the pain
Of one foolish enough to fall off the mountain the first time.

Feeling about for sweet oblivion
where memories lie impotent
where breath strings into nothingness
unencumbered by motion

This stuffing of blood and cells
in parentheses of time, form, deeds
each after the other, in a punctuated sequence
becoming moot, coming undone

All humans, all doors,
swinging in apprehension, in anticipation
on the inside, on the outside
of what, I do not know

but losing sense of the hinge sometimes
and becoming exposed to the elements.

It was as if a normal day,
Until you decided to come this way
Invited me with open arms,
“Never will we be apart.” You said.
It was as if I wasn’t nervous,
Held your hand, locked it on purpose
—We started this hillclimb.
It was as if we were Jack and Jill,
Just that we weren’t rolling down this hill,
The darkness was overwhelming
And the silence deafening
But I knew everything was fine
Because you are with me,
Because our hands our locked tight.
But when the angry storm came through,
Your fear overpowered you.
You left me alone on this journey,
You made your way out.
That’s when I knew,
The person you started the journey with
doesn’t always end up with you.

Deep inside the ocean,
beneath the rocks
there lies a beautiful soul
Not knowing whether
this world is right or wrong
Whether this world does
Justice to all or
Favors only a few,
Whether peace exist
In this earth or
Is it just a word
Found only in books

Losing faith is fun.
It makes me want to dance with you.
And use rubber tubes as straws.
And just drink water.
Cause nothing feeds me actually.
The combination of you and Cocorosie is so good.
And everything else is so bad.
And we're smiling as we're hawling.
You made fun of everything when I told you everything went wrong.
Oh, I love you so much.
Even when you don't stop talking and my head explodes.
No wait, I hate you then.
Whatever….
Losing everything is fun.

You are a nobody,
Yet you are everything to me
My every breath, my every day
The beats of my heart

You're the reason I write
You are my ink and paper
Every word and every thought
My Romeo in each page

But this isn't a love-story 'story'
With a happily ever after,
When you gave up on us
And blew your last good bye

You took my heart with you
And left me wondering
Am I not enough?
Or am I too much?

I lost you
That I understood,
I just didn't think
That I'd lose 'me' too.

I'm afraid that I'm losing
To myself
In everything that I do.

I'm afraid
That I'm failing
When I try my best

I'm afraid
I'm overwhelmed
With no foreseeable escape

I'm afraid
I'm drowning
Which is my own fault

But most of all
I'm afraid
That I'm losing myself

With every new breath
I'm

Gone.