I want to write about you poetically,
But you don't deserve my time.

im sick.
literally.
i have the flu.
i walk downstairs,
to find someone
to help me
figure out what to do.

i see my mom,
expecting a warm embrace,
she looks at me and says,
"wow you really need to lose some weight."

i'm sitting here hurting,
everything is in pain,
and all you can think of,
is how much i weigh?

i go to the scale,
close my eyes,
a million decisions
run through my mind.

i open them,
and i look at the scale
right in its
numerical face.
and i'll say
"*******,"
i know what to do,
this weight is here to stay.

Slowly slipping
Losing control
Heartbeat blipping
Losing control
Blood pressure dipping
Losing Control
Hands griping
Losing control
Blood dripping
Out of control
My mind is breaking
There is no mistaking
I'm out of control

When all I thought I had was love.
He came and slipped through my
Fingers, festering at my feet like sand
That was slowing pulling me under.

When all I had was laughter
I throw back my head
Open my mouth and
Find his words spilling out.
My own laughter wasn't even mine.

I opened my chest to replace the thing
He broke, only to find that it had never
Truly existed. He walks away in the desert
Holding my blood, dripping through his fingers
But I never seemed to have bled.

I am losing my mind.
Everything we had together
I find it written in fairytales
On parchment paper
With ****** ink.

I was listening to the other girls
When they talked of love
And I slipped and hit my head
Thinking that I had found it too
I was wrong.

Of course I am afraid,
The thought of it trembles my already weakened knees,
I am not sure of which I am more afraid of,
The thought of me losing you,
Or the thought of him winning you.
Either way,
You'd never be mine.


-HIY

Losing friends is like
Heartfelt with cradle of love
Friendship to where we lost
Between the horizon and the clouds
From time to time
Wonder how can i see u again?
They say u are the best
Then left without memory
Did what was surprised for us
As the day comes in and out
To show losing energy
Within its population
Of harvesting new friends
But not losing friends.

                     By K-mari ©2016